


Situational Awareness

by Catminty



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Development, Fluff, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Mutilation, Spark Bond, Spark Sex, Sticky Sex, Symbiotic Relationship, Trine Dynamics, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 12:58:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catminty/pseuds/Catminty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thundercracker is not the fastest running processor when it comes to noticing subtleties. Soundwave attempts to court the naive seeker. Starsceam, of course, overreacts. Now it's up to the tapedeck to heal the spark of the one he loves, no matter the cost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Recognition of Squishy Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thundercracker learns to regret his purposeful ignorance of squishy culture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set this in a sort of Thundercracker-esque point of view. Fanons portray him with a bit of a dour or standoffish personality. Here's my crack at it!
> 
> This is not beta'd, so please forgive my mistakes.

Squishies are weird.

They are a short-life species with an even shorter attention span. Their piteous entertainment devices showcase flashy, processor-degrading filth. Most of which emphasizes interfacing, getting overcharged, and offlining other squishies.

It really was no wonder why most of the Decepticons became hooked.

Thundercracker was one of the few Decepticons smart enough to ignore that “T.V.” What confused him was the Casseticons’ reaction to it. Sure, they watched the data files with the squishies waving around the pathetic explosion-powered blasters with the other ‘Cons. But they’d almost offline any mech that tried to interrupt one data file type in particular.

Crudely rendered mini-equines.

It was horrible. The renders were numerous, loud, and colorful. Thundercracker _hated_ it. What’s worse was the horrific transmission spouted off the importance of “love,” caring, “magic,” and friendship. Any self-respecting ‘Con wouldn’t be caught offline watching it. Frag. This was _Soundwave’s_ little sparkeaters beating the slag out of any mech that got in between them and their viewscreen.

It really didn’t matter though. At least it shut the glitches up for a few breems a planetary cycle.

Thundercracker swirled the energon in his cube, musing about the complexities and irregularities of functioning when a loud “Whoop!” from Rumble drew his attention to the recroom’s entertainment device.

“C’mon! The show’s about to start!” Rumble hollered to his brothers. Frenzy ran to stolen squishy, cassette-sized seating to sit with his twin, the two aerials drifted down from somewhere in the ceiling, and the feline mechanoid seemingly materialized from the shadows. The five settled down to watch the disgusting transmission.

This planetary cycle’s annoying audio file was the same as the last few rotations. The renders were going off on a tangent about a day focused on equine peds and one of the fluid transportation mechanisms in the squishies’ bodies.

Mech, squishies are _weird_.

Thundercracker tuned out the nonsense. As long as it kept the Casseticons quiet for a few breems, he was a content mech.

 ~ - ~ - ~

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he zoned out once more, or how long the mech had been shifting from ped to ped in front of him, but the static laced vocalizer reset brought Thundercracker back to the land of the processing. The seeker reset his optics. Soundwave stood there looking…off.  Wait, _Soundwave_ shifting from ped to ped?  It was unnerving being the center of the silent mech’s attention, but the rippling shifting of his armor suggested that it was Soundwave that was more uncomfortable by this situation.

“Query-,“ the looming mech’s vocalizer broke off to static once more. He fumbled with a small box in his servos. Thundercracker looked up at Soundwave from his seat, to the box, then to his visor.

Soundwave cycled a deep ventilation then slowly set the box down on the table with both servos. Visor lights flitting a glance between box and mech, he monotoned, "Open."

Thundercracker evaluated his options. There was option A: Ignore the Tapedeck. But it's kind of difficult ignoring a mech when he could just hack your processor to _make_ you pay attention. That was out.

Option B, Run Away, could work in the short-term.  But no one hides from Soundwave or his pitspawn. Not for long anyway.

That left the unfortunate choice of option C: Open the Box. It's alright, Thundercracker. Setting up a trap like this really didn't seem like Soundwave's style. Plus, he didn't think he did anything to frag off—Was that a tentacle nudging the box closer?

The jet blew out a soft ex-vent and grabbed the box. It was surprisingly light. The flimsy container quickly fell to shreds under the Decepticons' claws to reveal a small, fluffy...something. "What is it?"

That tentacle was back again. It nudged whatever the thing was holding. Thundercracker remembered seeing that shape in the squishie culture. Another wiggle drew his attention to the glyphs drawn in the center of the shape. He examined the markings carefully. "Will you be my..." The last glyph was baffling, one he'd never seen before. A rough guess would be a combination of "mech" and "importance." He poked it with a claw tip.

A small set of wings ruffled by as Laserbeak perched on his shoulders. _::It says: 'Will you be my special somepony?'::_ Laserbeak twittered cheerfully through a commlink. A dismayed and disproving warble blurted from Soundwave at Laserbeak's sudden appearance.

_::No? It's a special glyph! Does it maybe look like "very special mech" then? Do you agree, yes?::_

"Yeah, I guess," Thundercracker mumbled. He didn't notice Soundwave stuttering intakes, nor did he listen to the cassette's chortle while he inspected the strange squishy item for more clues. Huh. It was at least in a mechanoid-like shape. A ping with coordinates, a date, and a time caught his attention. "What-"

Funny, he could have sworn Soundwave and his spy were there a moment ago.

"Hope you have fun on your _date_ , 'Cracky!" Frenzy yelled from across the recroom. Date? What?

 ~ - ~ - ~

After some painfully tedious research, Thundercracker realized what happened. And what he agreed to.

"...Frag."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a teddy bear (or teddy-bot?!) holding a heart! Points to anyone who gets the "specialpony" reference.


	2. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squee! I can't believe I got so many views! (And Kudos?! What?!) You all made my day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time increments taken from the TFWiki
> 
> Klik 1.2 minutes  
> Breem = 8.3 minutes  
> Joor = 6 hours  
> Planetary/Solar Cycle = ~1 day  
> Deca-Cycle = ~10 days  
> Orbital Cycle = ~1 Month  
> Stellar Cycle = ~1 year  
> Vorn = 83 years

Ugh. Disgusting. The Decepticons live in a ship, underwater, under metric tons of salt water… _underwater_. Where was Thundercracker now? Standing in the saltiest saltwater to have ever disgraced his plating.

Let’s just say he was a little disgruntled about Soundwave’s choice of location for “The Date.”

It wasn’t really _that_ bad. The water was shallow, so at least Thundercracker was _above it_. He flicked his wingtips in irritation and kept his arms crossed over his canopy glass. No one said anything about having to act like he was having a good time, so he sure as frag wasn’t going to put on a good face.

An inquisitive ping came from a scraggly rock cluster nearby. Thundercracker huffed an ex-vent and sulkily trudged, making sure to stomp on as many brittle formations as he could while climbing over the rocks. Coverings were spread across a large, flattened area above the water.

Soundwave, sitting to one side, looked up at the seeker then down at the spot next to himself.  When no movement to join was made, he extended one servo to the spot and patted it. Still nothing. Soundwave’s armor rippled nervously, and he patted the spot again. “Soft,” he monotoned quietly. 

After a klik, the tapedeck pulled his servo back onto his lap and looked away, armor visibly deflating. Thundercracker huffed once more and sat down. Which had to be a mistake, because a brief flare of Soundwave’s field practically beamed with his exuberance at the move.

“Alright. So I’m out here, with you, on this…” Thundercracker really didn’t want to say it, but he had to have it recognized for what it was, “…date.”  Any other Decepticon would force him to endure the event a second time for reasons of technicality. _‘That wasn’t a date! How could_ that _have been a date?’_

Soundwave nodded quickly, still not-quite looking at Thundercracker since the sit-down standoff. Was he fragged off? A hesitant brush of fields suggested no, he was just really excited. Frag, what had Thundercracker gotten himself into?

“So, why here?” Thundercracker asked.

“Salar de Uyuni. Location: Bolivia. Economy: Unstable. Gain from alerting authorities of Decepticon activity: Minimal. Reward for silence: Not minimal,” Soundwave vocalized quietly.

Slag. Soundwave paid off the locals to keep their squishy vocalizers offline?  Well there went the hope of being chased out.

“Agreement: Made with locals. Location: Superb testing of satellite equipment. Low-end technologies traded for silence and unobstructed testing.”

Thundercracker looked at Soundwave, really looked at him. The communications officer found a resource on an alien planet that could be of use, but he didn’t steal or kill to obtain access to it. Instead he communicated with them and set up a trade agreement. “Why not just kill them and claim the area for yourself?”

“Decepticon attack: Merit for Autobot investigation. High probability of defense fortification if utility of location discovered,” Soundwave said. There was a long pause where nether mech said anything. Then, Soundwave murmured, “Secondary reasoning: Soundwave enjoys passing time near beautiful things…”

Beautiful? This place was _disgusting_. Salt and water and _yuck_ everywhere. “What are you talking about?”

Soundwave downright _squirmed_ , though Thundercracker had no idea why. The tapedeck let out a flustered bleep and pointed to the horizon.

That’s when he saw it. Frag. It really was beautiful, and Thundercracker wasn’t one to throw words like that around lightly.  The sheet of brine covering the flat land formed a near-perfect mirror when viewed at a distance. It was as if there was no ground, only endless stretches of sky as far as the optic could see. An aerial’s well of all sparks.

A distinct sound of rummaging snapped Thundercracker’s attention back to Soundwave. The latter was hunched over, fishing for something in his subspace pocket. Two small cubes of energon were removed. They looked like decent energon from the glow and coloration.

Wait…Aha! So this was one of the “picnic” dates he had come across while doing research on his last fumble. He ran a quick tally of the checklist.

Good Location: Disgusting salt plains with an amazing view. Check. Comfort Items: Soft coverings to protect afts from rocks. Check.

Soundwave extended a servo with one of the cubes in offering, but the aerial was hesitant. He took the cube and lifted the seal to take a whiff. By Primus, he groaned. A quick sip confirmed his guess. That was fragging good midgrade. All the flavor of highgrade with a low risk of getting overcharged. Thundercracker took his time to savor it.

Good Food: Midgrade. Check.

It was a little disconcerting to realize the mech wasn’t doing half bad. How much planning did he put in to this?

~-~-~

The two mechs sat together in companionable silence for some time. After finishing and dispersing his cube, Thundercracker stood up and stretched his joints. “I’m going for a quick flight.” Soundwave looked ready to protest. “Don’t worry, I’m not going far.” That seemed to satisfy him.

The jet transformed and started flying a few loops around the area. He stayed close to the water, marveling in the reflection of the sky beneath his wings. Slight cants allowed his wingtips to barely break the water’s surface, casting a fine spray behind his altmode in a descending shower.

Completely unnoticed was Soundwave’s awe at the spectacle. He didn’t see how Soundwave’s fans sputtered and intakes hitched on a particularly difficult move. Or how a hand steadied over spark to try to calm the storm of emotions the “emotionless” mech felt.

No, Thundercracker was distracted by the rush he felt when flying in this new sanctum. That, and Soundwave had managed to calm himself enough by the time the aerial returned. But all that effort was for naught the moment Thundercracker transformed with a sincere grin on his face. Cue tank flutters. Soundwave looked away to hide his embarrassment.

“I like this place,” Thundercracker said as he plopped down next to the groundframe. “I’d like to come here more often.”

Another flare of exuberance brushed into Thundercracker’s field. “Thundercracker: Would enjoy second date?” Soundwave monotoned, though the excited fluctuations in his field showcased his underlying excitement.

Wait, what? Thundercracker backtracked his processor to see what went wrong. “No, that’s-” The smaller mech’s visor stared straight up into Thundercracker’s optics. Frag, slag, and pits! He would not go through this again! Soundwave’s smaller servo gently laid on top of his servo braced on the blanket.

“…Negative?” How could he make monotone sound so sad?! He wouldn’t do it. Nope. Not going to happen.

Cue epic stare down.

A klik passed. Soundwave shifted slightly, armor flattening out to a submissive gesture. A breem went by. His chin raised a little, exposing delicate wiring. _Please, sir, can I have some more?_

“Fine,” Thundercracker ground out. “Another…” It hurt so much to say it. “…date. But pick someplace else. Someplace that doesn’t suck so much.”

Soundwave’s happy trill didn’t sting like he expected it to. Though, the fact that he didn’t let go of Thundercracker’s servo for the rest of The Date did damage his ego. Because that warm stirring in his spark was obviously from some sort of damage the other mech inflicted. Obviously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rainy season for Salar de Uyuni is regularly from January to April. I was honestly quite shocked that this location worked out so well for The Date. (Which takes place late-February)
> 
> If anyone’s interested, here is the article Thundercracker found to base his “picnic date” off of.  
> http://voices.yahoo.com/how-plan-picnic-date-8706241.html?cat=41
> 
> Also, Soundwave's OOCness is on purpose. I don't know about you guys, but I tend to me more open with my special somemech than with friends or coworkers.


	3. Noticing The Little Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cassetticons get to know Thundercracker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blarg! I'm sick! T-T I've been sick all week, and I've been trying to come up with something halfway decent while bedridden. 
> 
> Please forgive any grammar problems or weird reasoning! My CPU is only running on about 43% efficiency. I'm going back to my berth now...

Getting used to this new...situation wasn't as horrible as Thundercracker had expected. Soundwave was still as indifferent as ever on the _Victory_. Both mechs preformed their routine duties as if nothing had happened. 

Well, except for two minor differences.

The first was small but annoying. Whenever the communications officer passed by, Thundercracker felt a light, tickling brush of the other mech's field. It didn't help that Soundwave could sneak up on almost anyone when he wanted to. The slagger. But he had been locked away with Lord Megatron and his commanding officers for the past few solar cycles. A big energon raid was in the works. So those little tickles and friendly brushes were few and far between.

The second difference was sort of weird. Since The Date, there was usually at least one Cassetticon that bothered him each solar cycle. Rumble and Frenzy didn’t bother him much, but when they did they were annoying as frag. They complained about being bored or broke something or another to try to pass the time.

On one of Thundercracker’s offshifts, they tried to beat him with their “videogames.” It was quite the debacle. They ended up getting so distracted trying to sabotage each other that Thundercracker beat them. Three times.

Their slack-jawed shock was humoring. One more game was played, and this time Thundercracker made a fatal “mistake” that cost him the game. A mech would almost think that they’d beat the flier every single round by the way they bragged. He made sure to put on the Seriously Disgruntled front so they could feel all the more pompous. What? He learned early on when bonded to Skywarp how to ham it up to appease one-track processored mechs.

Of the other Cassetticons, Ravage paid a visit once in a while. The feline had a tendency to just…stare. Kinda creepy. Thundercracker just stared back until the cybercat flicked his ears and sulked away.

Then there was Buzzsaw. Now that was a mech he could relate to. Everything on this planet sucked. Frag, everything this side of the universe sucked, and they both knew it. It was almost enjoyable listening to the grumpy condor mutter to himself while he rested on Thundercracker's shoulder from time to time. Laserbeak called him “huffy.” Thundercracker said he was just looking at an honest perspective of functioning.

Lastly, but not least, Soundwave’s self-proclaimed “princess.” Laserbeak wasn’t so bad. She was the jolliest of the flock, often giving small transmission-bursts about the fun things she discovered here and there. _::I found a squishy insecticon today! Its armor was shiny and gold! Would you like to see? Yes?::_  Her enthusiasm always brought a faint smile to his faceplate.

Other times the femme aerial just twittered to herself as she picked at Thundercracker’s plating. A quick reference to the squishy databases—because Primus forbid if he misread something like _that_ —suggested that she was grooming. Squishy fliers groom their family as a way to bond. Huh. It must be something like how Thundercracker’s trine used to go to the washracks together to clean and polish each other’s plating. His wings wilted when he realized how long it had been since his trine had done any sort of bonding. Laserbeak gave a tweet at his sudden depression and nuzzled his helm.

It was at that moment that Skywarp strode in and caught sight of the two. “D’aww!” he crooned in cruel mockery, servos clasped in front of his faceplate. “Does da widdle birwdy have a cwush on TC?” Skywarp made a weird, squelching noise with his derma. Laserbeak seemed pretty offended by the way she puffed out her plumage in a threatening gesture. Skywarp crowed his laughter and went on his merry way, not caring that his trinemate was obviously upset.

Later that evening, the purple jet threw a fit about his stash of shinies being confiscated. The only piece remaining was a folded piece of tinfoil in the shape of a turkey. Thundercracker found it _hilarious_ ; it did all sorts of wonders to improve his mood. Even Starscream cackled at Skywarp’s expense.

Maybe the Cassetticons weren’t so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tinfoil turkey! Am I wrong to think it would be so farfetched for a flier to have a shiny stash? 
> 
> Also, Beaky found a Golden Beetle of some sort. Look them up. They're so shiny!


	4. An Attempt To Mend That Which Was Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eureka! As soon as my fever broke, plot bunnies took over my mind. Now I've got a plot laid out for the next five to fifteen chapters depending on how much I want to smush into each one. Right now I have two chapters on the back burner for when I don't have time to do an update. 
> 
> Side note: How do I have almost 250 views for just 2,700 words?! This fic is only a week old!

The events from the other cycle made Thundercracker realize how lonely he really was. His spark ached for any sort of non-callus contact from Starscream and Skywarp. Aside from the occasional jab, their only routines together consisted of flight practice and fighting Autobots. Duty shifts were laid out in such a way that it was almost impossible to spend any real time together. Thundercracker didn’t know if it was set up in such a way because Lord Megatron was trying to get at Starscream or if Starscream sincerely despised his trinemates.

The blue seeker let out an ex-vent, his armor deflating with the motion. Gone was the time when the three aerials spent every night cycle possible recharging together in a tangled cuddle pile. He looked down at his servo, remembering Soundwave’s determined yet gentle grip from just a few cycles ago.

Maybe that’s what it took? Thundercracker nodded to himself and set to work.

~-~-~

“What?” Skywarp blinked at Astrotrain in confusion. “Whatcha mean my shift’s been switched?”

The triplecharger shrugged while preparing for his shift. “Ask Thundercracker.” With that, the large mech took flight.

Uh oh. Skywarp hoped Thundercracker didn’t do what he thought he did. If he did…Skywarp shivered at the consequences.

~-~-~

A loud shriek and a following shatter of something that once was echoed in the command trine’s quarters. “You did what?!” Starscream shrieked.

“I just thought we could, you know, spend some time together,” Thundercracker raised his servos in an appeasing gesture, doing his best not to further irritate his irate wingleader. The purple seeker was quiet on the matter—he just sat on a chair and stared at the floor in quiet submission.

Starscream went still, glaring hate and disgust at his wingmate. “Do you think I have time to waste on an idiot like you?” he sneered. “And even if I did, do you think I’d want to?”

Thundercracker ground his denta and tried once more. “I know you’re busy. I just thought…”

“It’s not your job to think, Thundercracker,” Starscream bit off. Everything about the tri-colored seeker reeked stress and frustration: a dull and scratch finish, minor damage that was yet to self-repair, and wings that shook with high-strung tension screamed for…something.

He knew it was dangerous, but Thundercracker had to take the chance.

Two swift strides forward closed the distance between the two aerials. Thundercracker acted while his leader was stunned and encased him in his arms.  A deadly silence filled the shared quarters. _‘Frag,’_ He thought to himself. _‘Don’t freak out, don’t freak out.’_

Starscream more than freaked out. He went insane. Sharp talons, trapped in between two chassis’, sunk in to metal and _ripped_ with alarming speed and efficiency. The claws burned white-hot trails, but Thundercracker didn’t let go. Starscream shrieked louder than before, tearing and rending at whatever part of Thundercracker he could reach. His peds and thrusters also came into play, kicking and scorching whatever plating was in range.

“You backstabbing! Worthless!” A heavy hit to the helm forced Thundercracker to lose his grip and stumble back. “Autobot loving!” Unbelievably strong kicks floored the damaged aerial. “Piece of scrap!” The blows kept coming in a torrential rain of hate and pain. In a distant part of his processor he noticed several pieces of distinctly blue plating go flying. Thundercracker tried looking to Skywarp for help. The purple aerial sat by as an observer, watching with distant optics while his trinemate paid for his transgression.

The blows slowly came to a halt. Cooling fans sang at the highest staccato in an off-beat tune to laborious, hiccupping ventilations. Numerous error messages flooded Thundercracker’s HUD, including warnings about main energon line ruptures. _Primus_. Even the Autobots had never fragged him with a rusty pole this hard before. Thundercracker had never known such pain. “Star…eam,” his vocalization cut off when a thick glob of pre-processed energon blocked his intakes. A moment of painful, heavy coughing cleared his airways. “…why?”

Well, if that wasn’t the wrong thing to say, Thundercracker didn’t know what was. Scorching fury filled Starscream’s optics. “You…” The trine leader’s wings shook so hard with his fury that they looked like they would snap at any moment. “You!” He grabbed Thundercracker and dragged him from their quarters via talons in wings. Starscream forced Thundercracker on his front and placed a ped between his wings. “Thundercracker! You are no longer a member of _my_ trine!”

Remember that part about never feeling anything so painful before? Yeah. Scratch that. The last thing Thundercracker remembered before offlining was deafening screaming, both his and Starscream’s, while his wings were torn from his frame.

~-~-~

Ugh. Fragging Jet-Judoing pitspawn. The next time Thundercracker got his servos on those two—

Wait, the Autobrat twins didn't send his aft to the medbay. It was his own sorry aft that did. The jet groaned softly. He didn't expect Starscream to freak out like that. How hard had the trine fallen for something like this to happen? Thundercracker blew out a painful ex-vent and tried to run his servo over his optics.

Keyword: Tried.

A cracked optic made out a blurry image of two blue servos holding his own. A faint glimmer of what could have been hope was quickly squashed. Those servos were too small to be his trinemate's. An over-bright visor leaned in close, effectively ruining the mystery.

"Operational status?" came the quiet monotone.

"'M fine," the worse for wear mech murmured. Though he certainly didn't feel like it. He’d ticked off Starscream before and received punishment for it, but he’d never been on the receiving end of _Starscream's fury_.

 _‘…You are no longer a member of_ my _trine!’_

He didn’t have a chance to processes it at the time. Surely Starscream was just caught up in the heat of the moment? But he’d never heard of any trine even jest about something like that. A quick test of the trine bond revealed…nothing. It was like they blocked him off entirely.

"Query: Reason for sadness."

Why was he sad? He wasn't sad. Decepticons don't get sad. Thundercracker's derma drew in to a grim line. There was no need to tell Soundwave anything. It must have been the pain that forced him to mumble pathetically, "It's fragged up. It's all fragged up." His vents gave a strong shudder, and he told himself it was from the glitches left over by the still-self-repairing damage from the fight. "I just don't-" his vocalization cut off to static. "I don't know how to fix it."

Silence filled the medbay occupied by the two sorrowful mechs.

He felt a light buzzing in the back of his processor, then, "Soundwave: Will help."

Thundercracker laboriously turned his helm to stare Soundwave straight in the visor. "Why? What do you have to gain from helping me?"

The dark blue mech brought their entwined servos to his facemask. He offlined his visor and gently pressed a taloned digit to the part of his mask where his derma would be. A long moment of silence stretched on. "Soundwave: Receives joy when Thundercracker is happy." He onlined his visor then gently rubbed his facemask against their entwined hands. The band of light looked determined.

"Objective: Reaffirm command trine bond."


	5. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ousted from his trine, Thundercracker starts his long road of recovery aided by the ever-faithful Soundwave

Recovery was a slow and painful process.

Lord Megatron initially ordered the Constructicons to expedite the repairs to get the command trine up and running again. However, that was cut short in the early stages. Thundercracker deduced that his lord found out about the whole expulsion ordeal. Now, the lone seeker’s frame took up a small berth in the corner of the recovery bay. Only the most critical of damage was fixed, leaving everything else to self-repair. An excruciating process.

Honestly? He welcomed that pain. It gave his processor something else to focus on rather than the painful emptiness of being alone.

Well, not _entirely_ alone.

The firm scrub of a cleaning cloth against mending but corroded tears and fractures made Thundercracker’s sensornet scream in protest. He didn’t welcome _that_ pain. Grim determination stopped any physical reaction. Slagging Soundwave. He had to know how much that hurt. The Constructicons deigned that his maintenance wasn’t worth their valuable time, which would have led to all sorts of possible malfunctions and glitches were it not for the mech currently “tending” to his wounds.

“Leave me alone,” Thundercracker bit out through clenched denta.

The cleaning cloth momentarily hiccupped in its cycle. “Negative,” the pain-wielder monotoned.

“Stop-” the jet raised a servo to physically push away the torture device. “Stop it. Just let me offline for good. There’s no reason for me to function anymore.” His feeble efforts barely affected Soundwave’s persistent cleaning.

“Negative. Objective: Incomplete.” Soundwave dropped the Primus-forsaken torture device to the side and pulled out a jar of…something. Objective? Right. That whole “fix the trine” slag. It wouldn’t work. There was no propitious outlook for this downed flier.

A multi-toned hum interrupted his brooding. “Soundwave: Does not fail mission objective. Objective: May not work initially, but always completed.” Thundercracker huffed at that. There was no way he could ever get back on his trine’s good graces. Has this mech ever even _met_ Starscream? He tried not to squirm as the repair process continued.

~-~-~

It took close to an orbital cycle of self-repairs and Soundwave’s “tender mercies” before Thundercracker was up on his peds again. Lord Megatron dismissed him from regular active duty, allowing him more time to recover.

But then again, that also dismissed his energon rations. A mech’s gotta work if he wants fuel on the _Victory_. So, the bucket and scrub brush became his tools of the trade. Hey, a seeker isn’t worth slag sans wings.  That was a work in progress that Thundercracker was looking forward to getting finished with. At least Soundwave had some experience in wings. There were times Buzz and Beaky came back worse for wear from their spying missions at Autobot HQ.

Thundercracker tentatively tried to access his ex-trine’s quarters from time to time. No one was usually inside. That, or they just didn’t want to talk to him. He once made the mistake of trying when a _very_ pissed off Starscream was inside. You’d be surprised how fast a wingless seeker could run when Unicron’s fury was on his thrusters. 

For the time being, Thundercracker begrudgingly shacked with Soundwave. The communications officer offered a free place to stay when they realized Thundercracker was out on his own. He probably offered it out of guilt for causing this whole mess. It had to be his fault.

The place wasn’t so bad. It was small, smaller than what he expected six—now seven—Cybertronians to share.  There was a general room cozy enough for everyone to sit comfortably in, a small berthroom, and a locked room tucked in the back. He tried to figure out what was housed in the secret room, but everyone labeled it “classified.”

Now Thundercracker’s days consisted of cleaning shifts, wing repair, and recharge. Fun. 

~-~-~

The seeker huffed irritably from his berth, not at all worried about keeping the other mech from his recharge.  Their berths were pushed against the opposite walls of the tiny berthroom at Thundercracker’s request. Predictably, the red visor flickered online at the sound and tilted his way. “Query?”

Thundercracker turned his helm toward the wall and crossed his arms across his canopy glass, not at all unlike a petulant sparkling.

Soundwave, having raised five symbiotes on his own, prepared himself for what was to come. Another huff from the seeker merited a light roll of his optics behind his visor. There were little things here and there that Thundercracker did to try and instigate a fight. Deca-cycles grounded tended to make even the most passive seekers irritable. Either way, this conversation was a long time in the making. The longest lasting lessons come from pain. Soundwave needed to make this hurt if he really wanted to help. A reopening of wounds was necessary to clean out emotional infection and rot.

“Thundercracker: Mech to blame for expulsion from trine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, isn't that just adding rust to the wounds?


	6. Hurtful Logic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh! I'm so paranoid. I feel like a Dinobot trying to write a sonnet as this story progresses. So much Engrish! *flails*

Silence.

 

Oh Primus, the _silence_ was deafeningly loud. Except Soundwave could hear the minute shift of plating, the sudden start-stop of hydraulics readying for action.

Through it all, he kept himself as still as possible.

“What…” The seeker murmured in disbelief. “How could you…” He turned over-bright optics toward the reclined groundframe. How? How could he say something like that? Did this mech even have feelings?

“Thundercracker: Mech to blame for expulsion from trine,” Soundwave repeated and flicked off his visor, visibly dismissing the slack-jawed seeker.

Dismissed. He dismissed Thundercracker as if he were nothing. No one. Worhless. _Just like Starscream._  Soundwave spent numerous cycles repairing and healing him just to...hurt him.

Something snapped.

Thundercracker, a fury of movement, leapt the distance between the two berths and attacked Soundwave for everything he had. He scraped his talons across the cassette deck’s chest, leaving long score lines along the metal and glass. Unfocused punches flew at and around Soundwave’s helm. Never in all of Thundercracker's functioning had he ever been this mad. Every ounce of strength in his frame was focused on rending and tearing at whatever he could reach. Through it all Soundwave held perfectly still, seemingly unphased by the whole ordeal.

After a few breems, Thundercracker wrapped his servos around Soundwave’s neck, but the action had no real force behind it.  His intakes heaved with the will to keep inflicting pain on the mech that had hurt him so. Energy readings flashed warnings about over-strenuous actions—he was going to fall into stasis if he pushed himself too much further. His frame was still furiously focuses on self-repair, and he was worried he had caused himself more damage than what he'd inflicted on Soundwave.  Damaged and defeated, the seeker slumped in defeat.

A klik passed. Soundwave onlined his cracked visor. Thundercracker stared off to the side, as if too ashamed to meet his optics. This was it: His newest low. ‘ _Pathetic_ ,’ he berated himself. Thundercracker braced for the retaliation.

He didn’t expect two smaller servos rise and gently herd him to the side. Soundwave lifted himself to a seated position then proceeded to take each of the seeker’s servos in hand, inspecting the damage self-inflicted.

"...the frag are you waiting for?” Thundercracker whimpered in the strongest voice he could muster. “Aren’t you going to attack me?”

“Negative,” Soundwave monotoned quietly. Satisfied with his inspection, he held the seeker’s servos prisoner in his own. Thundercracker’s raw expression shifted between pain and confusion. “Query: How did it feel when blamed?”

A sour look twisted across the distressed faceplate. “I didn’t-”

A buzzing “shhh” silenced the protests. “Thundercracker: At fault. This: Certain fact. Restatement: What did Thundercracker feel when blamed for everything?”

The seeker's armor fluffed momentarily at the insult then relaxed to its depressed state. If he had wings, Thundercracker was sure they’d droop past his aft. “…it hurt...‘n made me angry…”

Soundwave nodded in affirmation. “Response: To be expected from seeker. Thundercracker: Did exact same thing to Starscream.”

Optics snapped up to meet visor. “What? I did not!”

It was Soundwave’s turn to huff. “Thundercracker: Did. Soundwave: Has seen confrontation.” He tapped his helm with a digit. “Offense: Not intentional, but still existing.”

“Frag…” Thundercracker murmured, leaning forward in his depressed state. “How?”

“Thundercracker: Acted without Alpha’s express permission. Presumptions made and acted upon without even Beta’s backup. Action: Seen as attempt to overthrow Alpha. Success often results in killed or expelled Alpha. Failure results in similar consequence to upstart Beta.”

That didn't make any sense! “He thought I was trying to take his position as trine leader? I’d never do that!”

"Challenge of leader's way of trine bonding is direct challenge to leader's function." Soundwave nudged Thundercracker until he laid down on his side then snuggled in close. A rush of warm ex-vents washed over the slowly relaxing seeker. Maybe Soundwave was right? Taking a mental step back from the situation, he pondered over what else he misses.

A bemused hum left Soundwave. He leaned forward and rested their forehelms together. “Thundercracker: Inept in situational awareness.”

Thundercracker grumbled quietly to himself, abashed for being teased by Soundwave of all mechs. The two sat quietly together for a while, listening to the hum of each other’s systems.

“Can I fix it?” came the pleading request Soundwave anticipated.

“Probability: High if performed correctly. Otherwise: Soundwave can fix Thundercracker.” A pleased tune inflected his monotone. “Next time: Painful. No more Mr. Nice Mech.”

That unexpected response tore a snerk from Thundercracker. “That was you being _nice_?” The wingless aerial playfully shoved the grounder in protest. “You’re downright evil.”

The tapedeck retaliated by wrapping his arms around the seeker, effectively trapping him on the berth. “Soundwave: Not evil. Soundwave: _Good_.”

Thundercracker put up a mock-struggle for a little while then gave in with an almighty huff. Maybe things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Maybe, just maybe with Soundwave’s help, things could be the way they were before everything went to the pits. A small flicker of hope intertwined with that warm little stirring Thundercracker felt in spark every time Soundwave was near. "Maybe..."

That night, the two drifted off to recharge cradled in each other's arms. And for the first time in a very long time, neither was alone.


	7. Song of Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Separation is unhealthy for a bond.

Thundercracker was far from amused. 

After the whole "optic opening" event, training began. Soundwave said he was too reckless and overconfident to get back on Starscream's good graces. The seeker tried to laugh off the insult with: 'At least I'm better than Skywarp,' to which he was informed that, no, Skywarp was a model trinemate. Skywarp? More in control than him?! 

A firm _'whack!'_ resounded off the back of Thundercracker's helm. "Focus," Soundwave reprimanded with a distinctly negative lick of his field.

Right. "Focus." Because sitting on your thrusters for joors and holding as still as possible was a great exercise. It got on every last circuit in the fighter jet's frame. This was so stupid--

' _Whack!'_

"Alright, alright! Pit!" Thundercracker scrunched his optics closed and tried harder.

"Shaddup, Stumpy," Frenzy spat from his kneeling position to the side. A quick smack was his reward. Hah.

It turned out that this was a normal routine for the tapedeck and his crew. They all sat in a rough circle and worked on building their focus. The more experienced cassettes (aka everyone but the mini mechs) had "upgraded" exercises where they'd silently hold an awkward position instead of sitting. Buzzsaw balanced on one ped, wings flares to the side for support. Lazerbeak hung upside down from a rafter right beside a bellowing vent. How she stayed silent when the wind continuously rustled her wings was beyond comprehension. But it was the cybercat that took the baked confection. Ravage, obviously the most experienced, balanced with his front peds spread apart beneath him and his aft dangling in the air. Rumble called it "extreme handstanding" because of the thirty degree angle the feline held his frame at. It was actually pretty impressive. 

Thundercracker calmed his active mind the best he could. He knew Soundwave was observing his short-term processing so he could gleefully deal out punishment. The slagger. In-vent. Ex-vent. Just a little more and he'd reach that "zen" they told him about...

' _Smack!'_

A flurry of curses filled the room as well as more than a few snickers. Thundercracker was livid, "What was that for? I was focused!" 

Soundwave tilted his helm in a distinct look. One the seeker labeled as meaning 'You underclocked glitch.' The blue grounder shook his helm. "Focus: Definition: Blocking out internal and external stimulus to achieve control over inner conscious."

"But I did block out the outside stimulus!" 

The Discipline Tentacle waggled. Outside stimulus... 

Meaning he had to ignore touch as well as sight and sound. Thundercracker groaned in frustration. "You can't smack me with that. That's playing dirty!"

"'Smacking' isn't the only thing he wants to do with it," Rumble whispered to his brother just under Thundercracker's audio range.

"I bet Sounders would love to 'Play dirty' alright," the twin shot back. Soundwave seemingly choked on an intake. The twins shared a round of snickers, and Lazerbeak clattered to the floor in a slump of chortles.

"What?" Thundercracker asked dumbly. 

"Focus!" Soundwave snapped. Just like that, silence filled the quarters once more. Slag. Super serious, super fragged off Soundwave. With a quick glance around Thundercracker realized he wouldn't be getting any answers. Whatever. He sighed and closed his optics, focused once more on trying to find this "zen."

~-~-~

The cycles continued on like that. Strange exercises were performed in groups or pairings so all of the cassettes could improve their silent observation skills.

Soundwave apparently had secret, specialized training since sparklinghood in this type of business. Lazerbeak called him a "Jedi."

When asked about it, the tapedeck usually changed the subject. But when he asked the Cassettes when carrier wasn't around, Frenzy mysteriously told him, "You'll see when _he_ comes around. Just do whatever Boss tells you to do and you might just live." The little fragger had a tendency to joke and pull pranks like younglings were wont to do, but the red mini had a disconcerting seriousness to his offhanded reply.

~-~-~

As time progressed Thundercracker's remaining repairs list whittled down from full frame restoration to fine-tuning connectors and receptors in the reattached wing circuitry. But even though his frame continued to heal, Thundercracker's sparkbreak at losing his trine slowly consumed him. 

Sure, they didn't merge much while they were bonded. And, yes, he was officially expelled from the trine. But that didn't mean the bond instantly vanished. He had to withstand the slowly-dissolving bond. It was the worst when he felt Starscream and Skywarp merge. Each time they bonded, his end of the bond lost strength. The pain grew worse and worse with each passing cycle.

Desperation swelled through his circuits; they bonded almost every cycle now, and this evening was no exception. Thundercracker buried his helm in his arms and curled into a ball on the berth. Soundwave sat with him, as he did every night cycle, and gently pet his quivering wings. It helped more than words could describe. Even so...

Vents hitched and fans sputtered in Thundercracker's miserable state. Liquid pooled in his optics, but he refused-- He wouldn't--

Thundercracker jolted forward, wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller frame, and buried his faceplate in supple neck cables. Soundwave tensed momentarily at the sudden movement, then wrapped his arms around the seeker as far as they could go. A surge of overload spread across the dying bond provided just enough force to cause it to snap.

Thundercracker broke. Tremors wracked full-frame with the force of his weeping. Nothing in all of his functioning had ever hurt as badly as that moment. They abandoned him. No one wanted him. No one loved him--

A tinny vocalization filled the quarters caused Thundercracker to give pause.  It was a song. The voice was quiet, but the glyphs could clearly be understood among the woeful notes. One set of lyrics stood out among the others: 

' _I will fix you.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is called "Fix You" by Coldplay. This is a sloppy update, in my opinion, but the physical recovery process bored headcannon to no end. It just didn't seem logical to jump from "damaged" to "recovered!" with no plot mixes in. There will be more feels in other chapters.


	8. Confrontations

It had been cycles since Thundercracker left.

The cassettes busied themselves as much as they could to avoid worrying, but every morning they'd anxiously search the quarters too see if their seeker had returned. 

They had experienced something like this before. Granted, back then they could feel if the mech they worried about was about to offline himself. 

However, the little mechs and femme took solace in their carrier's firm belief that their newest family member would come home safe.

~-~-~

It was on the fifth night cycle that Thundercracker returned, a blazing fire burning in his optics. He ignored the tiny frames that swarmed and clung to him the moment he stepped inside. Determination set his features. The seeker stormed a direct path to the communication officer at his workstation. "Train me," he ordered without preamble. "I'm getting my trine back."

Soundwave had the audacity to ignore him. Livid, the seeker made a grab at the grounder's shoulder. "I said--"

And then, for some odd reason, Thundercracker was dizzily staring up at the ceiling. How long had crude drawings of spikes been scratched up there? 

Wait, _what_ just happened? 

An bland visor peered down at his prone form. Soundwave let out an exasperated huff at his companion's expense. 

A snort. Then a laugh. "He went flying!" The mini mechs started laughing so hard that they had to support each other to stay upright. "Did you see his face?!" one of them said. Apparently the cassettes had run to safety before getting in their carrier's disciplinary path. Thundercracker's processor was too busy trying to figure out what the frag just happened than to find out which one was mocking him this time. 

"...wha?" he asked dumbly.

Soundwave shook his helm in disappointment. "Thundercracker: Requires much training." A blue servo poked a golden cockpit. "Lesson: Aggressive acts against Starscream or Skywarp. Result: Punishment or offlining."

Oh. Right. Thundercracker had the decency to look sheepish. "Oops? Then, uh," he wracked his processor to think of what he should do. "Um." Idea! Non-aggressive. The seeker forced his armor to lay flat but not tight against his frame. He stared up with doleful optics. "Train me?" 

Silence stretched.

"...please?"

Soundwave nodded sharply.  An offered servo helped the downed flier to his peds. "Much training required."

At least it was a start.

 

~-~-~

It was by freak chance that they ran into each other alone in the hallway. 

The purple seeker tapped his digits together in a fidgety fashion, not quite looking at his ex-trinemate. "S-So... How've things been goin'?"

Thundercracker dipped a shoulder in a shrug. "Pretty horrible, all things considered."

Overbright optics shot him a look, something between shock and happiness. What was with _that_? "Does that mean the honeymoon's over?" 

What? The blue jet drew his brows together as he tried to process that one. Nope, no idea what that meant. Probably a stupid squishy term. "What are you talking about?"

Skywarp deflated. He looked like Ravage when the laser pointer stopped functioning. "Nothin'." Skywarp shook his helm and resumed looking everywhere Thundercracker wasn't. "So what are you gonna do now?" 

Be confident but not aggressive. "I'm going to try to win you and Starscream back."

The purple flier played with his servos in a nervous gesture. His wings lowered, and a tiny voice asked, "...why?" 

The question hit Thundercracker in a weird way. It wasn't something he expected. "Why wouldn't I? You're my trinemates even if the bond--" He turned his helm away. That was still a fresh wound that he wasn't very willing to reopen. "You'll always be my trinemates." The answer was weak. Pathetic. But it was all he had. "'Warp, I--"

Skywarp flinched away at the nickname. "I gotta go," he murmured, inching away. "'m not supposed to be talking to you anyway..." A pop and a flash of purple energy, and Skywarp was gone.

Emptiness filled the previously occupied space. The same overwhelming feeling swelled within the chestplate of the seeker that was, once again, left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buh buh BUH! Skywarp is sad. Aw.
> 
> Short chapter! But I'll post another tomorrow.


	9. Rule #1: Catch Your Target's Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave laid out a line of steps and rules that any courting seeker should follow. It's now Thundercracker's responsibility to take his lessons out into the real world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> = Second update in one day =
> 
> So, I lied last chapter. Headcannon _hated_ the idea of leaving things as they were. That, and I can hardly restrain myself when I have a few chapters fully typed up and ready to go. Both chapters posted today are painfully short. Boo! I think they're better segmented though.
> 
> There will be another chapter tomorrow!

They were ignoring him. 

All the subtle little flirts, flicks of wings, and brushes of fields did nothing to get Starscream's or Skywarp's attention. They ignored him even as he tagged after them during their flight training. 

Some of the other Cons felt bad for Thundercracker in spite of the hilarity of the situation. It was awkward watching the third wheel do his best to keep up with the two-mech flight formations.

Even as he struggled to keep up, the seeker pair continued to ignore him. No matter what happened.

Except when Thundercracker flew faceplate-first into a skyscraper. That was way too entertaining to ignore.

Subtlety obviously didn't work, so that meant Thundercracker had to be bold.

~-~-~

The rec room was packed. Fraggit, almost every Con off duty was in there for no good reason. Chatter erupted when Thundercracker strode in, shoulders broad and wings flared confidently. He ignored their excited rabble as he made his way to his ex-trinemates. They looked up when he stopped abruptly at their table.

Thundercracker dropped to his knees, head bowed. "Air Commander Starscream! I wish to court you and Skywarp! Please consider my offer! I could be a great attribute to your trine!"

Silence. Then, a clatter.

Starscream was frozen in surprise. Skywarp, who had been leaning back precariously on his chair, crashed backwards in shock.

After a moment the trine leader seemed to snap out of his daze. The tri-colored mech stood and stomped over to stand in front of the insubordinate seeker. "Who the frag do you think you are?!" He shrieked.

Thundercracker flinched, but stayed in in his supplicative position. "I am a lowly seeker unworthy of ventilating the same atmosphere as you, sir!" Primus, this was embarrassing. Every Decepticon was watching as if this was some sort of soap opera. "This humble seeker wishes to try to earn your respect, sir!"

A thruster kicked forward and knocked Thundercracker aside. "You're right about the worthless part! You don't deserve a chance!"

The blue seeker hurried back to a bowed position. "Please, Air Commander!" In this position, he didn't see the look of shock on Starcream's faceplates.

Mumbles and snippets of conversations barely reached Thundercracker's audios. _'Will Starscream give him a chance?' 'What will he do if Screamer turns him down?' 'That pathetic excuse of a seeker should have just offlined himself!'_  


The mech that made that last comment got a blast of null rays. The blue jet looked up warily.

Starscream's optics were locked somewhere else for a long klik. Skywarp looked back and forth between his trine leader, Thundercracker, and whatever it was Starscream was glaring daggers at. The blue seeker cast a quick glance back in that direction, but it was just a vacant doorway. Nothing was there.

When he looked back, he caught Starscream making the most peculiar, confused expression. The Air Commander glared down at Thundercracker, raised himself haughtily, and spat, "Fine. Impress me."


	10. Rule #2: Follow Suggestions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We tolerate the ones we love, even if they don't extend the same kindness to us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't say what _time_ I'd update. So, it's tomorrow! (Midnight counts as a new cycle, right?!)

Tolerance. 

That's why he was doing this. It was important to learn to tolerate the things you hate. In spite of the importance of the lesson, Thundercracker was a very grumpy mech. 

Rumble, Frenzy, and Laserbeak volunteered to teach him this lesson. Which really broke down to the four of them sitting in the rec room. Watching the accursed TV. 

There was a small, animated squishy accompanied by a talking primate and a sparked subspace filled with other sparked items. Every time the shrieking characters decided to point out the obvious, the seeker felt like ripping out his own audios. Frag. The vid file was created in such a way that the sparkling audience was supposed to get fully involved. Meaning the Cassetticons took great joy in screaming out the answer with the characters.

Thundercracker cycled deep, calming ventilations. Tolerance. It would come into play at some point. There was, after all, a reason why Starscream and Skywarp had earned a notorious reputation for rubbing mechs the wrong way.

~-~-~

Soundwave swept the cleaning cloth down broad wings. This situation was far from comforting, but the tapedeck had supported their suggestion, saying how vital it was to pick up on the little things.

Thundercracker haunched down further as self-depreciation consumed him. He didn't want to do this! A small servo rubbed a comforting strokes between tense wings. "Display: Worth earning back trine." 

The seeker grumbled to himself. After his entire frame was wiped down, Soundwave turned his backstruts to the seeker to set out an array of tools and devices. The clinks and clatters slowed, then a quiet monotone spoke.  "Soundwave: Proud of Thundercracker's commitment."

Confusion filled Thundercracker's processor. He looked up at the tapedeck. Was Soundwave shaking?

Before he could ask about it, the door swept open with a bang. "We got it!" The mini mechs shouted as they burst into the quarters, lugging the dreaded barrels that would lead to his demise. Leave it to those glitches to slam an automated door.

The commotion that ensued swept the worry to the back of Thundercracker's processor.

~-~-~

Of all the suggestions. Of all the slagging suggestions! 

Thundercracker took pause to regain his focus; he was doing this to get his trine back. This was exactly what he had trained for. It was important to pick up on any requests or requirements suggested, subtle or otherwise. Gotta make them happy by proving he'd do whatever it took. Because it was worth it to get his trinemates back.

Right. The trinemates that were on the floor, wheezing. After all, it gets hard to ventilate after you've been laughing for five breems straight.  Through it all Thundercracker stood tall. Confidence was of the utmost importance, or so Soundwave had told him.

"I can't believe he did it!!" Skywarp pounded his servo on the ground. The purple twit took entirely too much enjoyment in this.

Play it off cool. "What? This?" He made a show to stare down haughtily at his brilliant, freshly painted frame. "Oh, it's nothing. I just felt like a change of pace." 

Change of pace his shiny pink aft.

His answer obviously broke Starscream in some way or another, because the tri-colored seeker collapsed once more with shrieking laughter. "Blue!" the air commander yelled when he caught a breath. "Change it back to blue! I'll offline laughing!"

Thundercracker beat a hasty retreat to change his color before the rest of the ship found out. Primus, he was relieved. 

Little did the pink seeker know that the beloved trinemates he courted took plenty of pictures. 

And posted them all across the _Victory_. 

He found one of these incriminating shots on the rec room's energon dispenser the next cycle. All he could do was stare, horrified. Glyphs were scribbled on the paper:

_Here lies Thundercracker's Pride._

_May it rest in peace._

~-~-~

It was surprisingly difficult to get ahold of suitable paint. Sure, there were all sorts of types created by the squishes, but only a few producers could create the right type for Cybertronian use.

Meaning Thundercracker was still pink.

But, you know. Pink wasn't so bad. At least he wasn't a pink seeker flat on his aft with an Autobot's blaster shoved in his faceplate.

Oh wait. _He was_. This just wasn't his deca-cycle.

 

The mech had blustered into the tapedeck's quarters, weapons blazing, but the fight seemed to leave him when he saw just what the stolen items were used for. Otherwise the seeker bet he'd have been offline instantly.

The black and white frame shook with restrained mirth. "Is this what the lil' fraggers did with my stash?" Thundercracker nodded slowly, flat on his aft with his arms still raised. A well-timed comm burst alerted his roommates of the intruder. It worried him a little when he got no response.

"That was my prankin' materials," a smirk stretched under a sharp, blue visor. "Looks like it got put ta good use." Thundercracker looked around warily for anything to use to use as a distraction. Maybe he could--

A startled yelp preceded a crash, which in turn preceded a string of swears in Nanocybex as well as several squishy languages. Stick a what up a where? You could _do_ that?

Thundercracker reset his optics. Ah. So that was how Soundwave floored him that one time. The tapedeck made flipping a mech onto his backstruts look like an art. Before long the intruder was searched, de-weaponized, and tied up. Soundwave took care to lift the struggling mech and seat him against the wall. 

"You're lucky ya caught me by surprise! Otherwise I'da ripped your arms out!" Jazz spat. A vicious kick nearly tripped the standing mech. The near-miss seemed to tick off the black and white even more. "Those glitches stole from me!"

"So what?" Frenzy sassed. "It don't matter. You steal from us all the time!"

That was scary. "Wait, how often does he break in?" Everyone looked at the pink seeker. Apparently they had forgotten about him in the tussle. Someone quietly snerked at his poor plating's expense.

But Jazz gave a downright calculating look. "Oh," he cocked his helm in appraisal. "Well, ain't this familiar?" Soundwave bristled; Ravage snarled. "What's wrong, Scraplet?" The saboteur turned to the standing blue mech. "Didn't ya learn your lesson the last time a seeker fucked ya over?"

_Last time?_

Offense was taken like a slap in the face to the carrier and his cassettes. Jazz leaned back easily, relaxed. "Didn't ya learn anything when _he_ took your voice away?" A saucy smirk spread under a visor that casually flicked toward Thundercracker. "Oh, mech. Does he know how ugly an' disfigured ya are? How do ya ever expect him ta lo--"

Soundwave spat static loud enough to silence Jazz. They stared off against each other, then the tapedeck turned away and slipped into the other room. There was a tense silence until he returned, barrels of paint in servo. He gingerly poked and prodded at Jazz's sideplates, then pushed the containers into the mech's subspace when it opened. Soundwave's helm hung low, his shoulders slouched. "Paint: Will be compensated," he monotoned detachedly. 

The smirk on Jazz's faceplate faded away. He turned his head to the side to stare at nothing. "Whatever. Let me go." No one protested as Jazz was unbound and released back into the ventilation shaft. 

An weight settled over the room that kept everyone quiet. It was awkward. Soundwave just stood there, staring distantly at the vent the black and white mech disappeared into.

"What was that?" Thundercracker asked hesitantly. His question seemed to snap the tapedeck out of his daze. Soundwave didn't even acknowledge his question. Instead he stalked into the berthroom and coded the door locked. What just happened?

::They have a...history,:: Buzzsaw muttered through a private comm channel. 

Now he really wanted to know. ::What happened?::

::Please. No ask,:: Laserbeak cut in, unashamedly hacking into her brother's conversation. ::Subject makes carrier sad. Very, very sad.::

Thundercracker stared at the berthroom door. He approached it hesitantly but stopped short. What could he do? Would Soundwave even want him to try to help? 

He gathered up his courage and knocked on the door.

No answer. Thundercracker looked around the room tentatively for any sort of help from the Cassettes. Lazerbeak hopped over to his side and nuzzled his thruster. ::Rest. Keep up strength for courting. Recharge now, yes?::

There...was nothing he could do, so Thundercracker left Soundwave alone for the night cycle. The little pitspawn decided to use him as a surrogate carrier as he tried to get some recharge on the couch. Their tiny frames sprawled across his chassis helped ease the strange emotions that flooded his processor.

Soft sounds of misery drifted from the locked room throughout the night. He tried to ignore it, tried to give Soundwave his space. But each and every sobbing, shuddering ventilation made Thundercracker's spark twist painfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst and feels! I want to spill the secrets so badly. Headcannon is so mean to poor Soundwave. ;_;
> 
> It will probably be a while before I can update again. *flees*


	11. A Break In The Routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten-thousand words, woo!
> 
> Sorry that this update took so long. Headcanon made my processor overflow with plot for _really_ far into the future for this story and smut for other stories.
> 
> But mostly smut. Because headcanon is like that.

A fluorescent pink knee bounced rapidly in a nervous tick. Tired red optics made brief glances to the closed door. Everything was silent--aside from nervous rustling--and no one said anything for fear of somehow worsening things. It had been cycles, and Soundwave was yet to leave the berthroom he barricaded himself in.

The cassettes took shifts performing their absent host's responsibilities, but there was always at least two sitting in their quarters. Waiting. Which was why Thundercracker sat squashed between a tense pair of twerps. He sat on the couch as he did every off-shift. But this time was different. Their fields had become increasingly stressed, consumed in worry, as the joors rolled by. Everyone had trouble recharging since Jazz's visit, leaving them haggard with fragmented files. 

There was no way this was healthy. Thundercracker clocked his processor faster in an attempt to try to find a way to fix the situation. Something had to be done.

~-~-~

It took a while, but then Thundercracker _finally_ realized the answer to the unspoken questions, the silent pleas and subtle hints. It was right there, staring him right in the faceplate all along. He felt so stupid for not realizing it earlier.

With time and some help from the cassettes, he managed to override the doors locks. Confident strides took him to the side of the berth where a blue form laid in a limp curl. A dim, pained visor turned his way. Thundercracker understood what was going on now, he knew what he needed to do. The seeker planted his fists on his hips, thrusters spread and wings raised confidently. "I was an idiot. But I know now."

Soundwave turned slowly to regard the cocksure seeker warily. 

"You're not Starscream or Skywarp," he declared proudly, as if that would solve everything.

There was a clatter at the open doorway. The seeker glanced over, startled, to see the cassettes in a messy pile. Sheesh, it was like they didn't know how to stay upright on their own peds.

Oh well. He turned back to a gobsmacked Soundwave. "Meaning: I don't have to do what you say when I don't want to."

Silence.

Soundwave reset his vocalizer several times until the static left his voice. "Soundwave: Superior--"

"Nope! I don't want to hear it!" Thundercracker grinned cheekily, bodily pushing the tapedeck's frame over to make room for himself on the berth.

"Buh..." Frenzy mumbled dumbly, optics flared in amazement. "But he _is_ your superior officer."

"Doesn't matter! I'm not doing a fragging thing he says until I see fit," Thundercracker boasted boldly. "Now, scraplets, get lost!"

They didn't move immediately, but, slowly, the mess of minis and mechanimals backed out of the room. They actually listened! Thundercracker preened with pride in his own plan going so smoothly. Now. He leveled a glare at Soundwave, who sat in a shocked, disheveled slump where the seeker had pushed him. "Take it off," he ordered flatly.

Soundwave tensed in alarm at the demand. The pink jet had to act quickly when the tapedeck made a wild dash to get off the berth. "No!" He reared the struggling mech back. "Take it off! I want to see your face!"

At that Soundwave froze. His frame slowly melted in Thundercracker's determinedly strong hold, but his overbright visor showcased his anxiety.

"I'm serious," the seeker said softly.

"Negative," Soundwave bit out as he forcefully turned his helm away. Stubborn aft.

"Soundwave..." This wasn't a game. They both knew it. "What's so bad under there that you have to hide it from everyone?" He shifted Soundwave in his hold so they sat face-to-face. 

The tapedeck whimpered softly when Thundercracker leaned down closer for inspection. A pitiful, "Scarred," was his only response.

"Scarred? Is that all?" The seeker smirked. "Is it bad?" A nod caused him to chuckle. "So what? Scars are pretty awesome. They show what we've been through and survived from. The worse the scar, the tougher we are. It's why I'll always keep the scars on my wing joints instead of having them get buffed out." Said wings flexed and flitted confidently. "Not many seekers can say they had their wings ripped off, were grounded for deca-cycles, and _didn't_ go insane."

Though that visor glint Soundwave gave him made him feel just a bit nutty. "I'm seeeeerious." He swayed them both playfully. "Come on!" A _look_ painted itself across Thundercracker's faceplates, one of superiority. "Unless you're too scared..."

An angry blerp suggested otherwise. Offense: Taken. Score for team TC! 

Still, Soundwave's frame shook as he steeled himself. Clicks and clinks sounded from behind the heavy facemask; the red visor offlined and fell forward ever so slightly, signifying its catch's release.

Letting go of Soundwave's shoulders, Thundercracker reached up and peeled away the barrier guarding the mysterious mech's secret. He dropped the heavy pieces of specialized glass and metal to the side with a solid _thunk_. 

Wow. Talk about _scars_. 

Silver spread up and down Soundwave's entire faceplate. Primus, it was like his face was pushed through a blender and got left to repair on its own. Well, the shape of his face was actually pretty normal. No. More curvy than others.

Thundercracker smoothed his servos across marred, scarred cheeks. They were surprisingly soft given the extreme damage they must have endured. It was a struggle to try to get a better look. Optics tightly shut, Soundwave hesitated before tilting his helm into the soft caresses. 

That was more like it. "See? It's alright," the seeker reassured gently. "You don't have to hide yourself all the time." He ran a thumb across a wet trail as quickly as it fell. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

With his helm canted forward, Soundwave onlined his optic to a dim hue. Blotches of white splashed and sparkled in the ocean of ruby, creating a pink glow even more delicate than the shimmer of highgrade. He gave a nervous glance to the larger mech and accidentally locked optics, but nervousness forced the pink gaze away. The tapedeck moved to turn, but the servos on his faceplate kept him from hiding his helm.

Thundercracker shushed him quietly and leaned in closer for a better look. Primus, he could lose himself in the beautiful, unique glow. He stared for several breems in appreciation. 

A click signified cooling fans cycling on. Soundwave must have been embarrassed by all the attention, but Thundercracker couldn't bring himself to care. Blue armor plating flared to expel a collection of heat, servos gripped lightly on the arms entrapping him; all the while, Soundwave stubbornly refused to make optic contact once more. He made the best petulant-sparkling face.

Thundercracker grinned. It was actually kind of cute how frantic his field grew the closer he dragged their frames together. Well, not _cute_ , but... Uh. What was the Decepticon equivalent of "cute" anyway? It didn't really matter too much. 

Sharp, red optics grew darker by the astrosecond as his gaze trailed down from those cute optics, past that little nose, and locked on parted, panting derma. Thundercracker found himself unable to find anything else important as he watched each intake pass through those quivering plates. 

Were they as soft as Soundwave's cheeks? He ran the pad of his thumb across the lower derma. A quicksilver swipe of glossa made his optics flash bright in interest. The panting turned into labored breathing, and the pink seeker found that he, too, was getting a bit warm. Odd. The room was usually chilly...

Then Soundwave pushed free of the servos that cradled his helm and buried his overheated faceplate in the crook of Thundercracker's neck. The seeker reset his optics in confusion.

::Request: Recharge,:: Soundwave asked meekly through a comm. ::...please.::

What? "Yeah... Sure," Thundercracker nodded dumbly, still in a daze. 

They laid down together, wrapped in each others arms like several times before. Only, this time, Thundercracker realized how well Soundwave fit in his arms, how comfortable it was to tuck the smaller mech's helm under his chin, and how that weak little engine tickled his canopy glass where they moulded together. Huh. He never really snuggled with anyone outside of his trine before. It was kind of...nice.

They stayed cuddled together throughout the night cycle, eventually falling asleep peacefully in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recurring theme is recurring!


	12. Rule #3: Be Prepared To Go Outside Your Comfort Zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen rated fic? What? Pffft! Headcanon had none of that. Warnings of badly-timed pranks and non-graphic sticky. (Non-graphic compared to my other series anyway.)

Nervous servos wrung together in distress. They shouldn't be doing this, they should _not_ be doing this. They should not be on their bellies, hiding under the berth, setting up what could be the best or worst prank of their functions.

The purple mini got a chaste buzz down his twin-bond comm channel. ::Calm down, ya sissy. You're gonna wake them up!:: 

Still, they _really_ shouldn't be doing this. ::Frenzy! We can't!:: Rumble eyed the offending object warily as his twin recharged it.

::We can and we will. This is our only chance!:: The red twin unplugged the object from his wrist port and flicked it on for just an astrosecond. Their fuel tanks dropped when it loudly bleeped and shook from that brief supply of power. The twins clattered together, servos scrambling to cover the audio outputs as to muffle the noise, which only resulted in causing more of a racket. 

Someone on the berth shifted.

They stopped their ventilations and held as still as possible, visors bright from alarm. ::We're gonna get busted!:; the purple mini panicked to his brother. ::This was your stupid idea. I'm blaming you!::

::Shaddap!:: Frenzy hissed back through the bond.

The twins held as still as glitchmice hiding from a turbocat; they could confidently say they were just as scared. If they got caught doing this...

When no further movement came from above, the twins wiggled out from beneath the berth. They'd had one pit of a time setting up this whole cockamamie idea on the fly. It better be worth it or Rumble was going to beat the slag out of his stupid twin.

Frenzy was confident in their planking prowess. ::We just gotta plant it. The timer's all set. It should go off in stages. Frag! I can't wait!::

The purple twin assisted his idiot brother up onto the berth. Frenzy carefully crept around until he could place the dastardly device to the side of the cuddling rechargers. Deed done, he paused to take a few good pictures. They were actually pretty fraggin' cute together. 

::Frenzy!!::

::I'm comin', I'm comin'!::

The terrible twosome escaped the berthroom in a hushed hurry and waited in a prime position for the show.

This was gonna be _great!_

~-~-~

"Mm..." Thundercracker onlined slowly to the most wonderful sensations. He had a warm little frame curled tight to his chassis and a complementing field melding comfortably with his own. The seeker flexed his wing blissfully, taking in the pleasant sensations while his processor took its time booting up.

Content red optics flickered on to gaze at that lovely silver face still in recharge. He took the chance to study the scars that played across the plating. The majority of the damage seemed to flow outwards from his mouth. It looked like chemical damage. Starscream was a scientist after all, so of course Thundercracker had to rush his trineleader to a medic more than once from similar burns. The scarring trailed along his derma and up inside his mouth by the looks of it. Huh. He must have drank something corrosive by the looks of it.

Thundercracker shifted to get a better look at the other scars. Dents, gashes, and score lines littered not only his faceplates, but also his neck cables and chassis. He leaned up to look over the rest of Soundwave's frame. Primus, the closer he looked, the more the seeker realized how scarred the quiet communications officer was. Did Megatron discipline him like he did Starscream?

A servo reached up to grasp his hovering digits just before they ran along a buffed scar, causing the pink jet to startle at the sudden contact. Soundwave was awake. 

"Hey," Thundercracker greeted softly. The tapedeck turned his helm away in apparent shame. The look of depression resumed its hold on every line and angle of Soundwave's defeated frame. 

It couldn't be like this. 

Tentatively, Thundercracker freed his servo and ran two digits along the silvered edge of Soundwave's derma, pulling a startled gasp between the full lips. The seeker's optics half-lidded at the smaller mech's reaction. He leaned in close before any protests could be made and pressed their mouths together. Soundwave tensed beneath him, struggling to push away the advance, but his response slowly morphed into halfhearted struggles that spurred Thundercracker to deepen the kiss. 

::Negative,:: Soundwave commed pathetically. He would resist at first even if he desperately needed it. ::Thundercracker: Must not.:: This was a dance Thundercracker knew all too well. All he had to do was press his weight firmly down onto Soundwave's struggling form, and... There. The tapedeck's optic fluttered shut, and he hesitantly reciprocated the kiss. 

The pink seeker pulled away to kiss along the smooth jawline. Fear of rejection and an overwhelming bite of loneliness tainted Soundwave's field. "Shh," Thundercracker soothed. "Let me take care of you."

Sly digits slid between flared plating as the blue frame arched beneath him. A staticky, breathy whimper spilled out of Soundwave's vocalizer when Thundercracker revved his strong engines in arousal. 

He was shocked at his ability to play this part for someone outside of his trine. It was so easy to slip in between the tapedeck's yielding legs and grind their arrays until both of their panels popped open of their own accord, just as it was easy to slide into that warm, welcoming channel.

An odd sensation overwhelmed his spark as he undulated their frames closer together in the ancient art of comfort, as he soothed away the hurt buried deep beneath Soundwave's facade. Pleasure burned stronger through his lines than it should as he felt his designation mouthed over and over again into his neck cabling. His wings flared high each time their chassis clashed in an unnoticed display of claim. Their fields mixed to a heady concoction of _want/need/please_ until Thundercracker's processor spun.

It was overwhelming. It was too much at once. 

"S-Soundwave," Thundercracker growled in a deep baritone as the wave of energy crashed over their scorching, entwined frames, knocking them offline. 

~-~-~

There was something itching at the back of his processor as he slowly came back to the world of the functioning. Thundercracker felt surprisingly well in spite of that. It had been a while since he--

Optics onlined in an instant, overbright in shock at the...situation. There he was. Laying on, no, _in_  Soundwave after they had an, erm, intimate encounter. His berthmate was very much online and seemingly frozen in similar realization of what happened.

Something else was decidedly off. Well, off would be the wrong word for it, because the item was most definitely on. What was that? The seeker looked down at the vibrating object nestled against Soundwave's side. He would have said something about it if he hadn't noticed the grey peds in his line of sight.

Oh, scrap! "H-Hello, Lord Megatron," he stuttered nervously. What was he supposed to say? One does not simply get busted for fragging Meg's favorite officer and live to tell about it. Or so he heard. "Are you here to see Soundwave? Don't mind me, I was just getting off."

The warlord stood there, arms crossed and a sneer plastered on his faceplates. "I can see that."

Thundercracker paused to backtrack on his logs, to which his thought process came to a crashing halt on the horrible choice of words. Soundwave, for his part, was beyond embarrassed by the entire situation. Kid in the cookie jar? Was that the term for it? Scrap, slag, and pits! Thundercracker wanted to run away and hide forever; he was going to offline from embarrassment.

But Megatron kept...staring at  Thundercracker in the strangest way, as if he was evaluating him. There was a special kind of designation for this type of situation, or so his processor supplied thoughtfully. 

Awkward.

That was, of course, before _it_ made itself known to the room at large by blaring the crudest, lewdest music imaginable. Three sets of optics watched in varying degrees of amusement and horror as the long, silver, music-playing _dildo_ vibrated across the berth.

Thundercracker stared in horror, Soundwave buried his helm in his servos, but Megatron actually smirked at the turn of events. Music screamed obscenely from the devise up until the point where it vibrated itself off the berth and came to a crashing halt on the floor. The offensive object clattered loudly on impact and broke off the song in an unnatural stop. _Then_ they heard the youngest twins, in the other room, laughing so hard that they could barely ventilate.

Hello? Awkward? You're fired. You've been replaced by this new, hip term "Mortification."

The rollercoaster of emotions was going to snuff Thundercracker's spark at this rate. "Can we, uh, help you, Lord Megatron?" 

The warlord eyed him once more with a sneer on his face. "You've helped enough. Soundwave, why have you been inaccessible for cycles?"

The seeker's processor helpfully noted that it wouldn't mind if he made Soundwave inaccessible for a few more cycles. He ruefully cut out that thread before it could expand further. 

"I see," Megatron gruffed suddenly. Huh? Right. Comm chatter. Soundwave couldn't vocalize. "Your cassettes have been doing a fine job of filling in during your absence, I just wanted to make sure you functioned." Their commander left without much trouble, unless you count stepping over giggling cassettes as trouble. Maybe the old gladiator actually cared about his third-in-command?

Thundercracker absently cuddled closer to the mech under him as the tension slowly drained from his frame. A small, blue servo absently traced along his scarred wing joints. "Sorry," Thundercracker murmured, helm buried in Soundwave's neck cables. "I just wanted..." He trailed off as an abrupt sense of uncertainty clenched around his spark.

Soundwave sent him a ping of understanding, saving Thundercracker from having to explain himself and how things were now decidedly...different. He thought a good pity frag would help make things better. Wasn't interfacing with those outside your trine supposed to be emotionless exchanges of pleasure?

Why did he feel like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chopped this chapter apart four times trying to get something that _worked_. Headcanon only wants to feed me material for things several chapters from now. Blarg.


	13. Rule #4: Show Your True Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE SECOND CHAPTER POSTED TODAY
> 
> Bonus chapter for 1,000 hits! Woo!
> 
> Oh hai explicit rating. What's up?

It was awkward to pull apart enough to try and clean up the mess. Thundercracker tried his best to salvage his plating, but the evidence of their coupling had congealed into an unrelenting mess across his abdominal plates. Pits, he needed a scrub. "I'm going to the, uh..."

A bleep in the affirmative echoed loudly in the quiet room. Soundwave kept his back turned until he finished affixing his facial mask and visor. But even when he faced him, the tapedeck didn't make optic contact.

Thundercracker tried and failed to find a way to break the ice that froze over their plating. What could he say? It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Washracks: Necessary. Time of cycle should reduce chance of discovery," Soundwave monotoned without any inflection. The tapedeck made his way to the door, looking back when the pink seeker didn't follow. He exvented sharply, grabbed ahold of Thundercracker's servo, and dragged him to the nearest washracks.

~-~-~

They were lucky no one caught them, it could have turned out badly. They washed in separate stalls in the communal washracks. The evidence of their encounter washed down the drain to leave none the wiser.

It was a relief, he told himself. The seeker turned his back to the spray of scalding water, optics shut. They could bury what happened deep within their processors. No one else had to know.

Two gentle servos tilted his helm down, and a warm pair of derma brushed against his own. Thundercracker onlined his optics in shock to see Soundwave kissing him tenderly. He took a step back, breaking the kiss, and tried to pry the servos away from his shoulders. Grip unrelenting, the navy mech stared up at him, visor splotched with moisture and mouthplates tantalizingly close. 

Thundercracker keened softly in distress. That look of need did all sorts of things to make his spark spin wildly. Why was he--

Before he could respond, Soundwave was forcefully ripped from his frame and thrown across the wet room, coming to a crashing, sparking halt against the far wall. 

"How dare you?!" Starscream shrieked a furious battle cry from his position between the pair. "How _DARE_ you?!" he seethed, stomping his way to the crumpled frame. "You have no right!" The furious mech, armor flared high in dominance and rage, picked up the smaller tapedeck by his throat and slammed him into the wall. "He isn't yours!"

Soundwave scrambled for a hold as Starscream lifted him higher, peds barely touching the floor. "Thundercracker: Free mech. Unclaimed." A quick comm from the trapped mech told Thundercracker to not react. He had the situation under control.

The multicolored seeker slammed Soundwave's frame into the wall again, creating a dent. "He's _MINE_!"

Thundercracker leaned back against the wall in shock. His armor flexed and flattened in stress. What was going on? A purple set of arms wrapped around his shoulders in comfort. Skywarp was here, too? His knees felt weak, and he gladly accepted the offered support and loving nuzzle.

"Starscream: Has no claim," Soundwave monotoned as his struggles increased. "Starsceam: Denied attempts at courting."

Offended, Starscream made a face most peculiar. " _That_ has nothing to do with--"

"Affirmative," Soundwave snapped. "Thundercracker requires competent bondmate.  Starscream: Inferior. Soundwave: Superior."

A tense silence filled the washracks aside from the intermittent pitter-patter of the still-pouring showerheads. It was like those Western vid files Rumble loved where the two squishes stood off, waiting for the precise moment to blast each other's helms off. But, you know, instead of squishies and guns, there were two, no, three mechs with deadly arsenals that could destroy this section of the _Victory_ if their fight grew extreme enough. 

A part of Thundercracker felt worried for Soundwave's safety. That was until the trapped mech jolted, slipping from his entrapment fast as quicksilver, and took up a battle position across the room. The tentacles were out; this was going to be one pit of a fight.

"TC, I'm gonna get you outta here," Skywarp whispered. He pressed a warm kiss to the side of the pink seeker's helm. "Wait for us."

The warp didn't fully set in until Thundercracker found himself, alone, on the opposite end of the ship. Even from such a distance, he still heard the explosions from the battle that ensued.

~-~-~

Everyone heard the battle once it started. Yes, every slagging glitchhead on the ship--including the fragging erradicons--went to watch the fight. Meaning Thundercracker, who was all the way in the _slagging back_ of the crowd had to push his way through.

The mass morphed into a yelling, cheering mass of frames the closer he got to the narrow doorway of the washracks. As Thundercracker finally pushed his way to the front, a resounding blast cut out his audios. "Gah!" He clasped his servos to his helm until the ringing stopped.

Everyone was moving, screamingly louder than before for bets and cheers of encouragement. The pink seeker managed to make it to the washracks as frames flooded in. Though you could hardly classify it as washracks anymore. Blast marks and dents littered every available surface. Shattered transsteel from the stalls reflected light off the pools of energon painting the ground.

Then there was that massive hole in the wall that extended into three separate rooms. Flashes of red, blue, and purple covered in pink streaked by the opening. Thundercracker dashed through the tattered holes desperately. "Stop!!" He screamed over the yells of the crowd as he crested past the last opening.

The carnage was worse than he could have imagined.

A crumpled purple and black form leaned up against the far wall, apparently having fallen there after impact. Skywarp looked beat to slag but functional.

Starscream looked worse off. He was pinned down on his back, wings nowhere to be seen, by numerous tentacles pierced through his armor, originating from Soundwave's frame. His left optic was crushed, glass compacted in the optic itself, causing it to spark intermittently. Enraged shrieks overshadower the shocked rabble of the crowd. It was a wonder how he still struggled in spite of the energon flooding the floor.

Wait, that wasn't Starscream's energon. Terrified optics followed the drizzling trail. No, it was Soundwave's. Thundercracker stared in abject horror at the tapedeck's condition. One of his arms was literally seared off at the shoulder joint. His chest glass was shattered, exposing the mangled cassette rack that remained. Thank Primus the little glitches weren't in there. Soundwave's mask dented inward at a dangerous angle, probably blocking off any possible oral ventilation, and his visor was long gone to reveal rage-filled, pink optics.

Thundercracker made a move to launch forward, but stopped when a deafening ::Negative!:: blared through his comm frequency. ::Actions: According to plan!::

"This isn't right!" Thundercracker pleaded.

::Objective: Reaffirm command trine!:: The tapedeck shot him a glare, giving Starscream all the opening he needed. The air commander lurched up, driving the tentacles through his plating, and tackled Soundwave backwards. The crowd cheered as they wrestled, turning over and over on the rubble. Quickly the appendages became a handicap in Starscream's favor.

Soundwave had speed and power in most situations, however Starscream wasn't a rank above him for no reason.

He slashed through the appendages piercing bus frame, wrapped his arms around the smaller mech's middle, and flipped him upside down so his thrusters wrapped over the cassette deck's shoulders. 

A maniacal grin of victory marred the trineleader's face. "You lose!"

That was when the slag hit the exhaust.

Twin turbines of amazing power revved to life, deafening every mech in the vicinity. Wind whipped like a tornado through the room so fierce that the smaller of the observers fell in tangled heaps.

Soundwave thrashed in the locked hold on his frame, writhing helplessly as his audios snapped and bled out under the assault. His optics whited out in agony of the heat from the thrusters melting the antennas on his helm, likely decimating delicate components within as well. 

And then, it was over.

Starsceam stood triumphantly and barked for a medic to care for his injuries. They made quick work of patching the two injured seekers up. Whoops of the crowd's twists joy fell on deaf audios; Thundercracker stared at the crumpled mess that once was his...

Blanched optics staring straight into his own caught his attention. He... He was alive! The pink seeker stumbled forward in a daze. How did it come to this?

::Sound- _chrrrr_ -functional,:: the injured mech reaffirmed. No! He wasn't! He was dying!  ::Negative.:: The buzzing presence in the back of his helm soothed his worried processor.

A hot, purring engine pressed against his backplate. "Thundercracker," Starscream purred, sending a shiver through his frame. His processor sang from the show of utter domination, at the display of the true alpha mech. Energon-stained claws scraped along his cockpit glass. His coding left him struggling to not fold under his alpha's wandering touches, even as his spark pleaded for Soundwave to show that he would be alright.

A pitiful, barely there ping shattered his fear, ::Objective: Complete.::

That was all it took for Thundercracker's final defenses to cave. He whimpered quietly as his soon-to-be trinemates spirited him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buh buh BUH! Smuts next chapter.


	14. Reunion

Never had repairs been performed so fast. Thundercracker sat numbly in the corner of the medbay, giving the wall next to him all his focus as if it were the most important wall in existence. The wall was nice, it didn't bleed aggression and anger and _lust_  like some of the other inhabitants of the room. No, it just sat there, doing its thing. 'Hi, Mr. Wall. How are you doing this fine orn? Me? Not so good.'

Maybe he should have thought things through better instead of charging in helm first into everything. Thundercracker's wings subconsciously tucked in closely to his frame. He peeked a glance across the medbay and instantly regretted it. Starscream and Skywarp were still staring holes through his plating, perched on their berths with newly-repaired wings hiked high and a medic fussing between their frames. 

A little voice in the back of Thundercracker's processor screamed for him to run. Because, you know, this whole "get back with the trine" thing wasn't supposed to be this complicated. Or violent. Frag, there was energon  _everywhere._

The medic spat explicits when Starscream shoved his way off the berth and stalked toward Thundercracker. The pink seeker turned to his right and noticed that his friend Mr. Wall was gone. No wait, Mr. Wall was still there, Thundercracker had just moved. When did he get up?

'Oh, hello Mr. Door. You have this amazing quality about yourself.' Thundercracker inched his way backwards toward the open doorway. Mr. Door had this wondrous ability to provide a mech with the ability to run away from deranged seekers out to get you. He grasped the doorframe tightly. 'Let's be friends!'

Thundercracker bolted from the room, the sensation of Unicron's fury breathing down his neckcables lit a fire under his aft. 

~-~-~

Turbine engines revved so hard they screeched with the power exerted. Thundercracker didn't look back because his instincts screamed not to; if he looked back, he'd see how far up his thrusters they were. Then he'd panic and then they'd catch him. Then Very Bad Things would happen. What are "Very Bad Things" you ask? Thundercracker didn't know. Pit, he had been bonded to Starscream at a very young age as a gift from the Vosnian ruler for some amazing deed his sire his done. What about Skywarp, you ask? They didn't even do anything fragging like this! Courting gifts and racing games, yeah, not beat the slag out of prospective mate, hunt him down, and KILL HIM.

Not that they were going to kill him for sure or anything. But if those two were insane enough to tackle him in the air to try to knock him to the ground, they had some serious designs for him. Interface? Probably. Slaughter? Possibly. Both? Fraggit, Thundercracker didn't even know anymore! 

The pink jet barrel-rolled to the side, pulled to a halt midair, and launched himself in a different direction. Raging shrieks and snarls faded under the overpowering sound of some of Cybertron's top aerial engines blowing full force. 

The blurred scenery below morphed from greenish-blue saltwater to a chaotic overflow of trees and underbrush. Thundercracker shot down into the thick vegetation and weaved his way through any available openings. It was thick, dark, and a potentially deadly path, but he could take hits from the greenery better than Starscream and Skywarp.

He belatedly realized what a stupid mistake that was. Clipping your wing on a tree _hurt like the pits_. Shifting into rootmode, the pink seeker slowed his flight and hid behind a cluster of thick foliage. Ventilations came in hot, heavy pants of humidity-thick air that barely seemed to cool his frame. Thundercracker's processor scrambled as he tried to listen for any sound of his pursuers. Did they follow him into the jungle? It was silent aside from the screeches of wildlife. Were they injured? His spark stuttered at the thought of having all three of his prospective mates in the medbay. 

Wait. A pink brow crinkled in thought of that automatic association. Three?

An explosion yanked Thundercracker's processor back to the present as he was slammed to the ground by the force of a blast. His audios blared shrieking feedback as numerous patches of earth, organic matter, and flames erupted all around him. Desperately he scrabbled over the hazardous terrain. Pain seared as sharp talons dug into his wings from behind and a frame tackled his back to push him into the dirt. Thundercracker bucked and writhed as a hot chassis ground down on his wing joints. One of the servos digit into his plating relinquished its hold to grab hold of his helm and pull it back roughly. The ringing in his audios was dwindling, but he couldn't make out the rough words spat by the side of his helm. 

The ground shook; Starscream landed a short distance away, directly in Thundercracker's view. He looked like a predator the way he stalked forward, wings hikes and armor rippling. Molten optics burned, staring hungrily at the captured quarry. 

Skywarp shifted. Legs straddled Thundercracker's aft and the remaining servo on his wing moved to lock around his jaw. 

"--said," Skywarp hissed cruelly, "Give up."

Thundercracker grit his denta in a swell of idiotic determination that seemingly sprang out of nowhere. "No."

The purple seeker on his back tensed. Starscream leaned down and purred silkily in Thundercracker's audio, "Thundercracker..." He trailed a digit down the pink seeker's cheek, purposely letting his talon leave a score in the plating. "You're ours, don't you see? You've always been ours. Submit."

Something snapped. Rage filled Thundercracker like an explosion in an energon crystal canyon. They cut off from him emotionally, expel him from the trine, and act like he's lower than a fragging organic. Then, out of nowhere, they turn the _Victory_  on its helm and beat the slag out of Soundwave--who was trying to help them--only to say he'd end up being back together with them anyway?! Snarling, Thundercracker jerked forward in Skywarp's hold and shouted, "Why? Why now? Why the frag did you expel me if we were just going to bond again?!" 

The red and blue seeker took a step back in shock of his outburst, optics bright. Rage flashed across Starscream's faceplates as he snarled, "Because you love him!"

"Him? Him, who? There has never been anyone else!" Thundercracker jerked and twisted to try and get free of Skywarp's hold. 

"You're a liar, Thundercracker!" Skywarp whimpered, vocalization hitching with emotion. 

Liar? How could they accuse him of something like that? Thundercracker broke free of Skywarp's hold and jumped to his peds. "Tell me the truth! Why did you do this?" 

It didn't make any sense! Starscream took a defensive step backwards. An almost guilty looking expression cast across his turned face. "I told you! I did it because you love him!" 

Skywarp crumpled to his knees and buried his helm in his servos. He could hide his face, but he couldn't hide the way his wings quivered when he cried. The other two ignored him in favor of screaming in each other's faceplates. 

"There isn't anyone else!" Thundercracker shouted. "Who else would there be?"

"Soundwave!" Starscream shrieked in frustration. 

Both mechs vented heavily and stared each other down. The fragger was insane! What did Soundwave have to do with any of this? Realization finally clicked in to place. "Soundwave?" Another sob was muffled at their side. "He's not--" Thundercracker shook his helm. "It's not like that. He's been helping me get back with you guys this whole time. We're just...friends." A rushed exvent left his systems at the realization. He had a friend in Soundwave. Thundercracker hadn't been able to claim a friend outside his trine in eons. He blinked his optics in shock. "Are you jealous that I have a friend?"

Starscream's wings wilted at the innocent question. "Friend? You're...not in love with him?"

The pink seeker made a face. "Of course not, you stupid idiot. How could you think I was?"

"Because he..." Starscream buried his face in his servos, frame shaking lightly. His stricken voice came out softly, "He made you happier than we did. How could we live with ourselves if we kept you two apart?"

"You thought I wanted to replace you?" Thundercracker's wings quivered as his confused frustration morphed into something painful, emotional. "How could you say that? Nothing matters to me more than you two! I thought that... I thought..." He gave up fighting, shoulders slumping. "You're my Star and my Sky. I can't live without you two. I thought I was the same to you..." He fought the weakness swelling in his lines. he wouldn't cry, couldn't. 

"Do you really mean that, TC?" Skywarp whimpered brokenly from his position on the ruined forest floor. 

Unwanted tears streamed down the scratched, pink faceplates. His spark went out for the younger mech. "Of course. I want to be with you two forever. 'Til all are one." Thundercracker huffed an Oof! when Starscream tackled him to the ground. The red and blue mech mech latched onto his front and proceeded to sob his optics out. Another frame snuggled into his arms to complete the sad little puppy pile. Smiling a watery smile in spite of himself, Thundercracker shook his helm. "Bitbrains..."

They snuggled together until the planet's star slipped away, giving way to the night. They nuzzled each other lovingly. "You'll stay with us forever?" Skywarp ask, helm rested on a pink shoulder. "Forever is a long time. Are you sure you like us that much, TC?"

"Yeah, yeah," he grunted. 

"You're sure?" Starscream asked. At Thundercracker's nod, he leaned over the pink frame and split his own chestplate. Light poured out to cast their small area in a warm glow. 

Thundercracker's ventilation hitched, nervousness locking his throat cables. The spark was beautiful in ways he could not articulate. Whorls of energy twisted gently around the pulsing core. The prismatic light reflected off the naturally polished, silver spark casing. Thundercracker opened his chestplates without conscious thought, arching his back to bring their sparks together.

Pleasure shot through the pink seeker's frame; his spark felt like a balloon filling with water. Each thrust of chestplates and grind of frames brought him higher, filling the proverbial balloon until the tension burst. Together the pair arched into overload, frames lighting as charge crackled across their plating. 

They separated and Thundercracker panted heavily. A small, barely there presence sprang up in his processor. He gave a strong pulse of love through the newly established bond, pleased when he received a warm flux of emotion back. 

Skywarp keened at their side, clawing desperately for attention. Thundercracker grinned cheekily, turned, and toppled over the purple mech. Their sparks met wildly in a fast, furious merge that filled their vision with fireworks. 

The three seekers continued to share sparks, love, and tender words deep into the night. Together they fell into a content recharge as the planet's star rose once more. 

~-~-~

The damage was far worse than what was initially anticipated. Even though his systems survived Starscream's wrath, enough of his helm was melted to destroy the communication center in his helm. So even as the medics worked at his helm to fix the damage; even as Lord Megatron was actively beating the slag out of the event's silent observers in the next room over; his processor couldn't translate the sound into anything recognizable. 

Blankly, Soundwave stared at the ceiling. It was so much like before. Only this time, he was completely alone. Even without the ability to interpret the messages sent by his symbiotes, he felt their anger at his selfless yet selfish actions. They abandoned him. He couldn't find it in himself to blame them. 

The Decepticon communications specialist was effectively rendered useless. What could a broken mech do? What purpose did he have in functioning anymore? 

Soundwave fought the same overwhelming sense of helplessness that haunted him so many vorns ago. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Softcore smuts. Blech. I write this one for the plot rather than the, well, "extracurricular activities."
> 
> So the trine is back together. Hurray! But what will happen to Sounders now that his "friend" is busied with reacquired mates and his symbiotes turned their back on him?


	15. Vacation's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The seekers return to the Victory. Thundercracker gets a taste of what they've missed out on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A month! A month without an update! I'm so ashamed. Please forgive me, dear readers.

It had been a, well, _rigorous_ lunar cycle. Thundercracker and his newly reacquired trinemates spent the time exploring themselves, each other, and the mudball they were stuck on. 

In spite of his outward cockiness, Starscream was as terrified as they were about going back to the _Victory._ His wings quivered faintly during the ride down the ship's entrance elevator. 

Thundercracker brushed his wings against his trine leader's in silent support, earning a small but thankful smile. They would be there for each other even if push came to laser fire. 

That wasn't something they could have said back then, back before this whole thing had started. 

The door opened to reveal the command level. Taking a calming vent, Thundercracker proudly straightened his frame in an unconscious mirror of Skywarp. Reassuring tugs of _love/protection_ ringing through the bond gave their leader enough courage to throw his shoulders back and march toward the command deck. The purple and now-blue seekers followed silently. 

They threw open the doors to the command deck, and Starscream confidently screeched, "Greetings, Decepticons! I trust you have not made complete fools of yourselves in my absence."

The soft mumbling in the crowded room came to a pause. Megatron gave their entrance just a fleeting glance as though he were assessing whether or not the trine would attack. Quietly, the warlord turned to the side and mumbled something to a drone standing at the ready. The nameless mech nodded sharply and rushed to them. 

The shrill, sharp squeal of powering weapons died off to nothing when the mech bypassed them completely and proceeded to pickup an empty chair, carry it back to the crowded table, and place to Megatron's right. Stunned confusion flickered across the bond. Megatron huffed in annoyance, "Are you going to stand there, preening like a peacock, or are you going to sit down? This is a war council, not a modeling audition."

::I don't like this...:: Thundercracker said across the bond. It was just too _peaceful._  

Skywarp's wings twitched nervously. ::It looks like a trap,:: the purple seeker said, echoing their wordless fears. 

::It's fine,:: Starscream sneered, stomping over to the table. "Lord Megatron. You missed me. While I am flattered, I can't say the feelings were mutual."

The lighting in the _Victory_ had always been horrible. Why power lighting when you could use the energy to, you know, not starve to death? Thundercracker hadn't realized at first just how dim the lights were until the faint redish glow in the room brightened fractionally. The occupants' red optics apparently provided half the lighting. So the roomwide shock of Starscream's blatant disrespect actually made it easier to see Megatron grit his denta in subdued frustration. 

"Get back to the meeting," the warlord barked with half his usual vigor. 

Unsure what to do with themselves, Thundercracker and Skywarp stood at attention by the door. It gave the blue seeker a good vantage point to really see what had been going on since their absence. 

The Decepticons were starving to death. Was the command trine really that vital to the cause? They were able to get fuel for themselves just fine when out exploring the world. Frag, Megatron was going to do jumping jacks of joy when he found out that Starscream discovered an untapped oil well in the Antarctic. 

Well, maybe not _jumping jacks._ Thundercracker smirked to himself at the mental image. But maybe he wouldn't beat the slag out of Starscream for going MIA for so long. 

He looked over at Skywarp, but the small smile on his face disappeared when he saw his bondmate's worried frown. ::What's wrong?:: Thundercracker looked to his wing leader for help. Starsceam also had a troubled scowl on his faceplates. Sure, the Decepticons weren't at their best, but they'd been in worse situations before.

The blue seeker looked to Megaton's left, but the large mech was leaning forward in such a way that the ex-gladiator blocked his view. ::Soundwave?:: He tried through a comm, but the only response was a hush of empty static. Frowning, Thundercracker shifted to get a better look at the third-in-command. But instead of his friend sitting dutifully at Megatron's left, Scrapper quietly scribbled down notes across a datapad. He looked haggard.

Shifting back to his previous position, Thundercracker frowned. His disappointment weighed his wings down in a subtle way that he didn't notice, but Starscream certainly did.

 

~-~-~

The oil discovery was met with eager cheers all around. The mechs set to work immediately to gather materials and construct the deep-sea oil rig hidden beneath the sea's surface. Production was relatively quick in spite of every mech's low fuel level. They managed to refine some of it even after topping off everyone's tanks.

Things were a lot better than they had been before. The Decepticons were getting along instead of slagging each other for rations. Work was getting done on the Victory to get it up and running to a fully-repaired ship. Frag. Even Megatron was caught laughing with his subordinates over something or another. It was actually a little creepy. 

Sighing, Thundercracker sat at his usual seat in the recroom when on a break. It was quiet save for a few rowdy mechs playing board games. Brawl was apparently horrible at chess. Go figure. 

Still... Thundercracker hadn't seen Soundwave or his Cassettes since the fight. So when the small vid screen in the corner flicked online to that accursed video file, his optics lit up in interest. He got up and walked over to the small couch he had been forced to squish himself into for the sake of "training" not so long ago. 

"Hey, guys," he greeted happily. A lone, little condor stared up at him tiredly. "Oh, just you, Beaky?"

She blinked up at him, lag causing her optics to shutter separately. Wobbly, Laserbeak hopped to the arm of the couch to make space. Thundercracker smiled warmly at the cute little femme. He sat down and she instantly cuddled close. Cuddle time with Laserbeak was the one thing he did miss about watching the stupid vid files. Her brothers did cuddle up close to him by the end of the program, but Beaky demanded it right from the start. It was their special time.

Gently, Thundercracker ran the back of his digits down the little aerial's folded wings. With her small frame curled up in the crook of his arm and her little helm rested on his wrist, she stared at the vid screen in a daze. 

Something was wrong. 

"Beaky?" Thundercracker tried softly. 

::Noo...:: Laserbeak whimpered the comm. The seeker tensed in alarm. ::No alicorn...::

Wait. "What?"

::...arkle...unicorn, not alicorn...:: the little condor whimpered softly.

Worriedly, Thundercracker scanned her frame for possible damage. Finding none, he relaxed slight as she slipped into recharge. 

Well. Beaky always was a little special in her own way. Thundercracker settled back and continued petting his recharging cuddle buddy. It was only after the video file ended that the seeker realized what Laserbeak ranted about. 

Huh. He didn't see that coming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The initial prompt strikes back! Haha!


	16. The Search's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thundercracker discovers what happened to Soundwave in his absence.

Thundercracker pinged a request for entry and patiently waited for a response. He'd been searching for orns, trying to find clues to Soundwave's whereabouts. The last he saw of the Cassettes was his cuddle time with Beaky. But duty called, meaning he left while she was still dozing, and he hadn't seen any of them since. A growing tendril of worry wound tight around Thundercracker's spark at the realization that she was the only one he had seen since returning. 

Some mechs laughed at him when he asked around. Thundercracker frowned, tapping his ped impatiently while waiting for an answer at the door. It wasn't like looking for a missing friend made a mech an _Autobot_ for pit's sake. Brawl and Vortex could shove their kissyfaces up their afts. It wasn't _like_ that. 

Most mechs didn't actually know where the communications officer disappeared to, but there was one common consensus: the last mechs seen _with_ the tapedeck were the Constructicons that repaired him. Maybe they knew where Soundwave was?

The door unlocked. Finally. Scavenger peeked open the door, bright opticed at the unexpected visit. "Hello," he greeted warily. "Do you need something?" There was a muffled shout in the background that made the digger flinch. Scavenger shut the door partway with just enough room for his helm to peer through. "We're busy. I'm sorry."

"Wait!" Thundercracker gripped the closing door to stop it. "Soundwave. I'm looking for Soundwave. Have you seen him?"

The smaller mech looked back at something. Someone? Hook stomped to the door and pushed his younger gestalt mate out of the way. "Soundwave? Dead," the crane said flatly. "What with the energon shortage, he likely starved to death. Maybe he offed himself sooner. The Cassettes might still be around if they sucked his frame dry for what energy they could."

Optics bright in shock, Thundercracker's grip on the door tightened. "What? How?"

Hook sighed. He phrased his glyphs like he were speaking to an underclocked sparkling. "Repairs take energon and valuable resources." At the seeker's lost look, he said, "You know, the slag we ran out of while you and your trine went flouncing around the planet? That meant repairs were impossible. If a mech got too damaged, he'd be siphoned for his resources. We lost a lot of drones that way."

"You siphoned him?" Thundercracker asked distantly. He was reeling. Darkness clouded the edges of his vision and his optics stared unfocused at his servo locked on the door. 

"No," Hook clipped irritably. "Megatron said no before we even asked. We made him comfortable and put him in his room as our lord ordered. He deserved that at least much for his contributions to the cause."

Soundwave was...dead? Thundercracker's servo slipped down the door. Strange emotions overtook his rational processor. A feeling of helplessness choked his vents. No. It was impossible! Soundwave was the best; a torrent of of sheer ability and power only restrained by his unfailing loyalty to Megatron. He nearly held his own when he fought Skywarp _and_ Starscream.

He wasn't dead. It was just impossible. 

A strange softness afflicted Hooks voice, "He would have suffered if he lived. The side of his helm was almost melted completely off. His /helm. Meaning most of his processor was also destroyed. We did what we could until we realized the extent of the damage."

Tremors made him quake at easy dismissal by the Constructicon. Why was he shaking? Mechs died all the time in the middle of a war. But, he rationalized, Soundwave couldn't be dead. Weakly, the seeker whispered, "What did you do?"

"There wasn't much we could do. Thundercracker, he was too far gone to salvage." Hook shifted, clearly uncomfortable. Then, out of character, he murmured, "I'm sorry."

The door slid shut with a muted click. Thundercracker stood there, quivering with the emotional torrent churning through his spark. He turned, running as fast as he could to Soundwave's quarters. 

He wasn't dead, he couldn't be.

~-~-~

It was so similar to the many times he stood outside his own trine's quarters. Thundercracker lightly traced the door to Soundwave's room with his digits. It was like a second home to him, only there probably wasn't anyone to throw him out or chase him away with blazing guns. 

It took effort, but the seeker managed to blast the door open. Inside, the room was almost just as he had left it all those orns before, in the normal disarray caused by its inhabitants. However, unlike before, there were drops of dried energon staining the floors with bits of melted metal intermingling sickly in the muck. Disturbed fascination had Thundercracker following the dotted trail. The droplets turned to a steady stream within the berthroom. 

Red optics darkened when they reached on the end of the grotesque path. Soundwave's berth sat innocently in the dark room, but the sheer sight of its surface broke something in the seeker. Thick, metal-infused globs of energon soaked the entire surface of the berth that they had shared so many things. Secrets and tears, comfort and love were all buried beneath the caked on coat of death.

There was no answer the many times he pleaded for entrance because there were no inhabitants. They were all gone without even greyed out frames proving their previous existence. Only the spark wrenching proof of his death remained.  

~-~-~

"Thundercracker?" 

He looked up sharply at the softly spoken designation. Dazed, the blue seeker looked around to find that he was in his trine's berthroom. How did he get back? How long had he been there? His trinemates stared at him warily. Why did he feel so...off?

Starscream slowly stepped toward him, guarded as though dealing with a bomb. The act made his plating flare and the blue seeker stepped back in some sort of self-preservation. There was no reason to react in such a way. Nothing happened. No one was dead. 

Skywarp seemed to not have the same caution. Their youngest was on him instantly, cuddling close and petting his wings in comfort. 

The touch burned. He tried to peel off his clingy mate. "What's wrong?" Thundercracker rasped softly, surprised at his own voice. Worry filtered through the open bond, but it felt distant. It wasn't his own. Why were they worried? 

"It's okay," Skywarp whispered into his audio. He nuzzled in closer, restraining Thundercracker as Starscream wrapped his arms around both of them. 

It was okay? Of course it was okay. "He's not dead. He's not," Thundercracker snorted, shaking his helm in denial. They curled their frames around his own to envelope him in their warmth. 

"He can't be." He shook his helm again as Starscream gently cupped his faceplates. Digits swept under his optics, making him aware of the trails of fluids leaking down his face. Thundercracker clasped his shaking servo around Starscream's and stared at the wet digits in disbelief. 

He was crying? But, he didn't feel it. He didn't feel anything, not even the warm frames penetrated through the icy shell frosting around his spark. 

"Let it out," Skywarp coaxed. 

He shouldn't be crying. There was no reason to cry. It wasn't as if Soundwave meant something to him, not more than a friend anyway. So even if he did die, _if,_ the seeker would be fine. No problem at all. His wings rattled in a raw flux of emotion. Of course. But thinking that didn't make it easier to ignore the growing slice of sorrow cutting through his spark. 

A hot vent rushed over his shoulder, but it barely registered. Starscream buried his helm in Thundercracker's chest and whispered brokenly, "I'm so sorry."

Sharp, sobbing cries filled the hushed quarters. Thundercracker distantly tried to tell himself that they weren't his own.


	17. 'Tis the Season to be Jolly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fa la la la la, la la la— _oh my god it's been over a year since I've updated_. I'm so sorry. ;~;
> 
> To all of the wonderful people who have commented or kudo'd or given me encouragement: thank you. I'd almost given up on this thing. Thanks to each and every one of you I finally mustered up enough courage to continue. 
> 
> It's overwhelming sometimes to get positive feedback. I always worry about living up to standards. My goal has always been to try to improve over time. But you all make me feel like I can make a good story that we all can enjoy. 
> 
> Thank you, everyone, for sticking through with me. This is an adventure I plan to finish, hopefully before the end of the year. Please look forward to new updates soon.

Heaving a soft sigh, Thundercracker perked his wings a higher from their drooped state before activating the door to his trine's quarters. A pair of loving smiles greeted him from the table in the room. Warmth spread in his spark, the joy of finally being welcomed with the lovers he shared spark with. A small smile quirked his lips as he watched his trinemates continue their card game. They spoke of little nothing's throughout the evening, such as each other's day and any odd stories that were spreading around the ship.

It was wonderful, truly. It was the life Thundercracker had always yearned for; a life of happiness and love with both Starscream and Skywarp. He couldn't – shouldn't – ask for more. But even as he laid entwined with their gently humming frames in the yawning blackness of night, the seeker felt his spark struggle to fill the hollow point once subtly occupied by a cobalt and white groundframe. 

Accepting the loss of Soundwave was more than he could bear at times, but he pushed on each orn in spite of the pain. That life was what he – they – fought so hard for, wasn't it? The host mech promised him oh so long ago, just after he had lost the trine he loved. Soundwave made a solemn vow to reunite the trine. If only Thundercracker realized what that task entailed, what sacrifices would be made. He could never forgive himself for the horrible, painful death inflected on his friend. 

And so, on particularly quiet nights, Thundercracker ran through the moments they shared. Each training session played in his processor in sharp detail. He remembered the moments of comfort when the pain of abandonment grew too great and how the mysterious but loving mech held him until the pain eased. The memory of the fight, fast as it was vicious, made him question: What could he have done to stop it?

Starscream and Skywarp knew. Of course they knew. Thundercracker tried to not hide from them least he build a wall that separated them once more. But he tried to not let it get to him often. Over the months after their return, they managed to find healthy ways to talk about it. They even grew to a point that they could laugh together at happier memories, like how Soundwave insisted on trying out alien festivities. 

One was a particular bane on his existence. It was a bit difficult to not only find but also drag a 50 foot, cone-shaped tree into the ship without anyone noticing. Thundercracker grumbled and muttered and downright grouched throughout the entire experience. After all, the other 'Cons would've shamed him for the rest of his life had he been caught. Well, given his record, he was already one step away from being the ship's jester after that whole Pink incident. 

But there was a certain something to it, that tree anyway. Thundercracker passionately explained to his trinemates how foreign music played merrily and the lot of them took turns decorating the massive hunk of foliage. There were little bits of metallic pieces draped over each bough. Hanging spherical and other assorted shapes caught light of the tiny bulbs hidden amongst the branches. The symbiotes made a game of climbing around on the inside, giggling to themselves as they tried to snatch the brightly colored boxed at the base of the tree. 

There was something lovely about it, something so very warm and gentle. Perhaps part of that warmth was the feeling that spread through Thundercracker's chest while he stood back and watched the smaller mechs play. Perhaps it was the shy hand that carefully slipped into his, frames carefully kept at an acceptable distance. 

Thundercracker realized that even then he felt the beginnings of love for Soundwave. If only he had noticed then. If only he had paid attention to the things that were so easy to see. 

Shaking himself from the thought, Thundercracker focused on the forgotten datapad in his servo. Too little, too late. Either way, it was a fond memory. 

There was a commotion in the hallway. Mechs could be heard laughing heartily through the bulkheads along with the sound of something tussling just outside the room. An irate shriek of something foul had Thundercracker rolling his optics. He set his datapad down and went to the door to see the cause of all the ruckus. 

What he didn't expect was a large, cylindrical object to be shoved into his gut the moment he opened the door. Thundercracker fell back with a grunt. What was Starscream doing?

Servos parted leafy branches and bright red optics peeked through from they top of the bulky item. "Don't just sit there!" Starscream snarled, "Help me get this fragging thing inside before I kill someone!" Wide opticked, Thundercracker shakily got to his peds and helped Starscream maneuver the tree inside. Skywarp hurried in behind them, cradling a box laden with shiny objects.

Stepping back, the blue seeker watched in a daze as his trinemates worked to set up their treasures. It wasn't a Fir tree that Starscream hissed about, nor was it even cone-shaped. The grand oak, too tall to fit into their modest quarters, was quickly slashed at the top of the trunk where the branches sprouted. Leaves rained down in protest as the red and blue seeker shoved the large, roundish greenery into the available corner of the room. 

They were– It was–

Blue wingtips quivered, hung low. Thundercracker covered his face as emotions overwhelmed him. 

Metal objects fell with a clunk to the floor. Skywarp cursed, gathering up the fallen impromptu ornaments just as the doorbell chimed. "Right on time!" Skywarp chirped happily as the door opened and closed with a soft hiss. 

A small flight frame landed lightly on Thundercracker's shoulder. The symbiote's soft clicks of greeting proceeded a happy rub against his shoulder vents. 

Scrubbing his optics to stave off a meltdown, Thundercracker gently ran a digit along the top of Laserbreak's helm. "L-Long time no see, Beaky. What have you been up to?" He also sent an inquiry to his trinemates, ::Where was she? How did you find her?:: He hadn't seen her in at least a month. 

Turning to the happy pair, Starscream and Skywarp smiled audio to audio. "The midgets are still around, TC," Skywarp said with no ill intent. "They're just harder to find. We needed some help with this project. Laserbreak was the only one who consented."

::For Thundercracker. For friend.:: She added privately. 

The thought brought a wet smile to the blue seeker's face. She still considered him a friend after everything he'd done? ::You still want to be friends with me? Even after...?::

::Yes. Thundercracker forget? Friendship is magic.:: Her wry comment made him laugh unexpectedly. Huffing, Laserbeak added, ::Oddly, miss old ship. Miss Buckethead. We come home now?::

Come home? Thundercracker lifted an arm, encouraging her to hop on so he could look at her tiny faceplates. ::What do you mean? To Cybertron?:: Sure, they all missed home. But a war was still going on. They couldn't return to Cybertron yet. 

Fluffing up her platelets, Laserbeak released an annoyed sigh. ::No. Soundwave and cassettes return to ship? Starscream done with attitude?::

His fuel pump must have skipped a few cycles. Thundercracker's help spun wildly. "He's alive?" he asked aloud, instantly stilling Starscream and Skywarp as they struggled to drape stripped wires across the oak tree's branches. "Soundwave's alive?" he asked breathlessly, almost afraid of the answer. 

Laserbeak cocked her head this way and that in confusion. ::Soundwave not dead. Hurt, not dead. Recovering.:: The arm she was perched on collapsed beneath her, and she flapped her wings wildly to avoid falling. 

Tears poured down Thundercracker's face as he collapsed to the ground. Relief, happiness, and love infused his spark. Soundwave was...alive? In the corner by the stunted oak, Starscream stood motionless with wide optics. Skywarp rushed to Thundercracker's side, ignoring the box of ornaments that tipped over once again, to try to help his trinemate. The blue seeker clutched the warm frame close, burying his face in the heat. 

Soundwave was alive. Soundwave was recovering. He was...they could... 

Unbeknownst to the pair, Starscream turned to the tree in deep thought. Laserbeak, propped up on a high shelf for safety, subtly watched the short-fused trine leader. She watched as he nodded once to himself, optics distant, before walking over to his trinemates.


End file.
